Page 42 of In the Name of the Father

“Are you still okay with everything that’s happening? There’s no hurry.” Malcolm smiled as he pulled back the covers on his side then sat on the mattress. He reached over to brush Seth’s hair back from his forehead. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m very okay. And I still want to talk.” He cleared his throat. “And be in bed with you.”

Malcolm’s smile widened and he climbed in next to Seth. He tugged him closer then stuffed a couple more pillows under their heads. Malcolm draped a leg over Seth’s limbs and lazily stroked his arm. They were close enough to share breaths, but far enough apart to stare into each other’s eyes.

“Perfect,” Malcolm whispered.

“What is?”

“You. This night. This moment. Everything I feel.” Malcolm brought his hand down to the one Seth had placed on the mattress between them and covered it. “But I do have to share something important about me with you. I’ve held back from saying anything until I was sure how you felt and because, well, your upbringing has kept you so sheltered.”

“But I don’twantto be sheltered anymore. Now that I know I can be with a man without fear or guilt, I refuse to close myself off ever again. Tell me, Malcolm. Tell me what it means to be your boy.”

Malcolm gazed at him as if in wonder but didn’t speak. After several seconds of silence, with only the soft touch of Malcolm’s hand atop his, Seth became nervous. Right as he thought he should say something, Malcolm spoke up.

“Do you remember when you asked about Everett, and I explained that he preferred it when I took control?”

“Yes. You helped him save the vineyard.”

Malcolm squeezed his hand. “There was a bit more to it than that.” He chuckled. “Quite a bit more. And do you also remember that I was younger than you are now when I met him at a social club?”

“Yes, I remember all that too. Why?”

“Well, the place we met was a BDSM club up in Portland. That’s also where I met Nate.”

Seth frowned.BDSM. His friend with the illicit Bond DVDs… Once, after Seth had returned from the first camp, his friend had made a crack about a film based on a popular book. Something about what would happen if they got caught with some BDSM movie or another that everyone was talking about. How it would make James Bond look like Bambi.

His eyes rounded. Did that mean…? Would Malcolm want to beat him, use a belt on him? Would he end up with more bruises, more tears, more suffering? Seth pushed away from Malcolm. But this couldn’t be right. Couldn’t be. NothisMalcolm.

“I see you, Seth. You have a picture in your head of what a BDSM club is and what it has to do with how I’ll treat you. I would never,everhurt you. The thing that most people don’t understand who aren’t in the lifestyle, is how the acronym means something different to everyone who seeks to pursue kink. For me, it’s very specific. Would you give me a chance to explain, sweetheart?”

Seth slid his hand back across the space between them then clutched Malcolm’s fingers. “I believe you when you say you won’t hurt me. And I’d like to hear you explain.”

He couldn’t stop the worry flowing through him, but he wanted Malcolm’s explanation more. From the second he’d met Malcolm, he’d done anything and everything to protect him, to help him. Seth owed Malcolm the chance to explain.

“Thank you. I hope I can describe this well enough to help ease your mind.” Malcolm took a deep breath. “So, clearly you have at least an idea of what a BDSM club is like. I’m guessing you associate it with whips, chains, leather, maybe orgies?”

Orgies? He hadn’t before but he did now. “Kind of. It’s not like I saw anything about it, more that a friend who liked to sneak R rated movies for us to watch mentioned it. That it was for…”

Seth pressed his lips together. He didn’t want to hurt Malcolm’s feelings.

“It’s all right, sweetheart. You can tell me whatever’s on your mind. I need to know where you’re coming from as we discuss this. That way, I can answer your questions and help you to understand better. Make sense?”

“It does.” Seth cleared his throat. “Well, my friend said that BDSM was something that only the most vile of sinners did, that it was what brought down Sodom and Gomorrah.”

Malcolm arched his eyebrows. “Interesting take. So, he was warning you to steer clear because it would be the worst thing you could ever do.”

“Well…not exactly. He was pointing out how it would be the perfect way to show his family how vile he was and that he planned to join one of those places the first chance he got.”

Malcolm snorted out a laugh. “All right, well, I hate to burst his bubble, but BDSM doesn’t qualify as vile—at least for the most part. There are much viler things on this planet.” Malcolm sighed. “I could go on for quite a while with this topic, but I’d like to stick to how it pertains to me—and more importantly—to you.”

“Me too. I’m dying of curiosity.”

It was the truth, and he’d promised Malcolm he’d be honest with him. Now that the initial shock had worn off, he’d come to his senses and realized he had no reason to be afraid of Malcolm.

Malcolm entwined their fingers. “Thank you. I’ll answer any questions you have, no matter how much you think they’ll hurt my feelings. I have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of, all right?”

“All right.” Seth inched closer to Malcolm again.

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