Malcolm took a sip of his coffee. “Don’t worry. You’re never going there again.” Perhaps he was being presumptuous, but there was no way he was letting Seth go to that hellhole in this lifetime or the next. “So, what were those books you’d always wanted to read, but couldn’t before?”
“All the ones from High School that my father said I wasn’t allowed to—which was why I failed English. Then the thing with Andy happened—” Seth started picking at his jeans. “Anyway, so far I’ve readThe Scarlet Letter,The Great Gatsby,Lord of the FliesandTo Kill a Mockingbird—which was my favorite. Although, I’m betting I know why my father didn’t want me to readThe Scarlet Letter.” He rolled his eyes. “I still have a bunch of others to go. Not all were ones from school, but the librarian gave me some suggestions and I want to try every single one. Have you read any of those?”
“I have. I loveTo Kill a Mockingbirdas well. Did you ever see the film?”
“No, but that would be awesome. Maybe if you have a library membership, I could see if it’s available to borrow. I plan to get a new ID—it just hasn’t been in my budget.”
Malcolm kept his expression impassive and tone even—despite having that recurring urge to beat some sense into Seth’s father.It’s probably not possible for the man to get any sense under any circumstances. “I’ll have to double-check, but I believe I have a copy of it here. If not, I can stream it.”
Seth furrowed his brow. “That’s a computer thing, right?”
“Yes, it is. I can show you my account later and if you’re ever here on your own, then you can always look up movies and TV shows and watch whatever you want.”
Seth stared at him in wonder. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.” Malcolm took another drink of his coffee to prepare himself to move things in a more pressing direction. “The night we were at the diner, you were about to tell me the circumstances under which you came to be here, but you got too upset to go any further. I don’t want to push you if you’re not ready, but I thought perhaps you could try again to tell me what happened? No pressure if you can’t, I’ll understand.”
Seth lowered his head, clasping and unclasping his fingers. Even though he was a twenty-three-year-old man with a solid, muscular frame and some scruff on his jaw and upper lip, in that moment he seemed like a child. Malcolm’s impression had nothing to do with Seth’s intelligence or behavior. His observation was derived from what he was sure had been an abusive upbringing filled with hate and rage.
“I-I want to. There’s been no one to talk to about this stuff, no one at all.” Seth inhaled on a shuddering breath. “And I trust you now. I know you said the thing about not trusting everyone who’s nice to me, but you’ve shown me nothing but kindness.” Seth lifted his gaze. “I’ve never had that before, at least not since my mom before she died, and that was fifteen years ago. My cousin gave me the bus fare to get here, but only because she was afraid I’d tell on her and her boyfriend. Not because she actually cares.” Seth swallowed hard. “I need someone like you.” His face flushed red. “I mean, to talk to. Someone who actually understands.”
The urge to pull Seth onto his lap was intense. However, he was sure Seth wouldn’t be comforted by the action—only frightened and confused.
“I’m here for you, Seth. We can take this slowly or however it works for you. This is about you and whatyouwant, what you need. Understand?”
Seth bit his lip then gave a jerky nod. “Thank you. But I want to get it out. It’s been festering inside me, eating away at my soul for so long, some days I feel like I want to scream at the top of my lungs.”
“If that’s what you need to do, then do it. Short of hurting yourself or someone else, do whatever works, whatever takes some of your pain and anger away.”
Seth shifted in his chair then peered over at Malcolm. “You know about the anger?”
“I can’t pretend that I’ll ever fully comprehend what you went through, but I can imagine how angry I’d be from what little you’ve shared so far.”
Seth lowered his head again and rested his elbows on his knees. He muttered something that Malcolm didn’t catch.
“I need to ask you to speak up, Seth. I can’t offer any advice if I can’t hear you.”
He’d kept his tone light and gave Seth a wink when he jerked up his head. Seth’s features softened and he gave Malcolm a shy smile.
“Sorry. I was always being told not to raise my voice against my elders. It’s become a habit.”
“What happened if youdidraise your voice?” It was time to begin the process of revealing the ugliness.
Seth’s leg started to jiggle, and his brow creased. He sniffed a couple of times then rubbed his palms on his jeans. Malcolm waited silently for him to be ready.
After a few moments, Seth let out a long exhale, then locked eyes with him. “Can…can you hold my hand? I’m scared.”
Malcolm swallowed past the sudden rise of emotion clogging his throat.Fuck that church. “Of course. Is it all right if I move this table out of the way?”
He’d originally positioned it so Seth would have the perceived safety of a barrier between them, but he now realized that what Seth needed was the opposite of that.
“Yes, please.”
Malcolm rose and lifted the table to make room. He then tugged his chair closer to Seth until the wide wicker arms were flush to the other. Seth raised one shaky hand then extended it to him. Malcolm sandwiched it between his own, held Seth with a gentle touch and waited for him to speak.
“I was hit. A lot.” Seth clasped Malcolm tighter. “Not only for raising my voice, but for a bunch of reasons.”
Malcolm ignored the knot growing more twisted in his stomach. “Can you give me some examples? I only want to know so I can keep from accidentally saying or doing something that upsets you.”