Page 72 of Power Forward

She startles at my outburst, but I’m vibrating with so much emotion. Heartbreak, fear, anxiety. I’m scared, and I’m so fucking pissed that Laura caused him to spiral.

“That man has shown up for me, and for our kids, when I never asked him to. He has proved time and time again that he isworthy. He has shown more love to our kids in these last few months than you have. You make me feel likeI’mnot good enough of a father for our kids. It’smyfault Isabela has separation anxiety. It’smyfault she needs additional support.”

My voice gradually gets louder, and I’m thankful for the soundproof basement because the kids don’t need to hear this.

“Jackson—” she goes to argue, but I don’t let her interrupt.

“I will do anything for my kids. Anything. I will make sure they have everything they could possibly want or need in life, all while having the job I do. I don’t even know who I am anymore outside of being a dad and playing hockey. I’ve let go of everything to be the best dad I can be for those two kids.”

I take in a deep breath, trying to calm the war inside of me but feeling relief pour out of me with every word as they get off my chest.

“I’m not perfect. I know that, but I’m damn well trying my best, Laura. You made your choice clear when you chose your career over the kids, and I accepted that. I didn’t judge you, or belittle you, or make snide remarks about how youbarely spent time with them. No. I let you liveyourlifehow you decided it.”

I take a step toward her, and with a calm voice, I say, “Those kids love Hayden, and I’m pretty sure he loves them too. Now, let me live my life the way I want to and in a way I believe is best for my kids and get the fuck out of my house.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

Hayden

“Can I get you something to drink, Mr. Cassidy?” the flight attendant asks. Her name badge reads Mona.

This is probably the easiest flight she’s been on tonight because I’ve been too numb to do anything except sit here and disassociate from the fact I’m a fucking asshole.

“No, I’m fine. Thanks, Mona.” I force a smile.

She returns to the galley, and I go back to staring out at the dark sky. Rain splatters against the window.

I regret the way I handled everything with Jackson. I allowed the darkness in my mind to take control and cause me to spiral. Because holy shit, did I spiral. I haven’t had a moment like that in a long time, but the things Laura said triggered something inside me. Something that I worked hard on healing, but hearing the things she said about me, even inadvertently, just tore through all the progress I thought I’d made. And I’m ashamed of myself for letting it happen.

I’m going to be so lucky if Jackson gives me another chance.

I fucking love you, and I won’t let whatever your head is telling you, get the better of us. Of what we’ve got.

His words from before I left have played on a loop in my mind since the door closed behind me.He might say that now, but once he’s had time to calm down and think clearly, he might not feel the same.Though, there’s nothing I can do right now. I’m on my way back to California, and Roberta will be waiting for meat 9:00 a.m.

I will work through this. I won’t let this beat me.

I just hope he meant it when he said they would be waiting for me.

The plane jolts when it hits some turbulence, then again a few seconds later. I glance over to Mona. She holds on to the countertop and carefully makes her way toward the cockpit. The door slides open, and I hear the captain say we’re going to hit some rough air and she needs to take her seat.

Spine stiffening, I double-check my seat belt before looking back to Mona.

“Mr. Cassidy, the captain has requested for you to keep your seat belt on. We’re expected to experience some heavy turbulence,” she says, just as the plane shudders.

She stumbles backward, and I quickly reach out to steady her, stopping her from falling back.

“You got it, Mona. Don’t worry about me. Go take your seat.”

She holds on to the counter again for support while she makes her way back to her seat and does up her seat belt.

Minutes later, the entire plane vibrates as we hit it. I’mbouncing in my seat, thankful I’m secured with the seat belt, otherwise I’d most likely be on the floor right now.

My heart drops into my stomach like a brick. I shoot a panicked gaze back to Mona. Her eyes are closed, lips pressed in a thin line. Her hands are clutched tightly in her lap like she’s trying not to show that she’s uncomfortable.

If a flight attendant is nervous, then this can’t be good.

The dark part of my brain tries to take over again. The shadow that resides permanently in my head since I fucked up my life, but I won’t let it win again. Not for a second time today.

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