Page 56 of Fear of Intimacy

“I need to see all of you.” His voice was hoarse as he hovered above me. Trevor’s hands grabbed the hem of the shirt I was wearing but he hesitated, looking up at me. The fact that he tried to be gentle and considerate was…something I never experienced with a man before. It quite literally left me speechless, which was something he was good at doing—leaving me without words.

Placing my hands over his, I sent him a soft smile.

“I’m okay.” And I was. Before, the thought of being intimate would make my heart race and my palms sweat. All I could think about was that guy in the club and his hands in places they shouldn’t be. I think when I kissed Trevor all those months ago, it wasn’t just the assault that made me run away. It was also how easy it was to be with him, how easy it was to forget things.

I felt safe. Whole. Protected. Wanted. There was no fear there. Not with Trevor.

Seeing the truth on my face, he slowly pulled the shirt up. He placed a kiss on every inch of my skin. By the time I hadthe shirt up and over my head, I was panting all over again. I thought I’d be embarrassed lying completely bare in front of him but I didn’t.

How could I when he looked down at me like I was a goddess? Like every part of me was made for him to cherish.

“Mine.” He said it so softly, I almost didn’t catch it. Before I could fully register the word, Trevor’s mouth captured one of my breasts in his mouth. All thoughts flew out the window as his lips covered my nipple.

Before today, I never knew it was possible to feel so good just by having my breasts touched and played with. I did nothing but lie there, hands brushing over his shoulders, down his tattooed arms, as he licked and nipped at my chest. And that was exactly what he did. When one wasn’t in his mouth, he softly rolled the other between his fingers.

It didn’t take long for me to arch my back and beg for more.

“Trevor. Please.” I barely recognized my own voice, thick with need. When he pulled away, his pupils were so big I could barely see the green in them. He looked seconds from devouring me.

Clearly feeling the same as me, he moved off the bed, hands grabbing the waistband of his sweatpants before pulling them completely down. With no underwear to contain himself, his cock sprang free. I wasn’t prepared for the sight of him. He was long, hard, and perfectly thick.

Instantly, my mouth watered and my thighs clenched together. How I was supposed to take him inside of me I had no idea, but boy, was I ready to find out. I quickly moved to my knees and reached out to touch him. He gently grabbed my wrist and stopped me.

“Later. If I don’t get inside you right now, I’m going to lose it.” Desperation clear as day clung to his words.

“Later,” I promised, and I fully intended on following through.

“I want you on top. I want you to be the one to set the pace, so if you want to stop, we can. Just say the word.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I did the only thing I could. I grabbed his face and kissed him. Hopefully showing him what his words meant to me. The kiss didn’t last long.

Once Trevor was lying on his back, I checked him out the exact same way he did to me moments before. Every part of him was honed to perfection. Wide shoulders, abs that glistened and begged to be licked. All thanks to hockey. And all of it was mine.

With plenty of time later to explore every inch of him, I crawled on top of him and straddled his legs. Trevor breathed just as hard as I did. That didn’t change as I slowly reached down and grabbed his cock. His body jerked, his abs contracting with the movement, as the sexiest moan fell out of his mouth.

I slid my palm up and down his shaft, his thickness heavy in my hand as I teased him. Feeling every ridge and vein. Then, I lifted up and aligned myself with his tip.

His big hands rested on my hips, stilling me for just a second. “Condom?”

“IUD,” was all I said as I lowered myself over him, his silky soft skin gliding against mine. Meeting his eyes, I didn’t look away as I sank down onto him, every inch filling me. I remained still as I tried to find my breaths. I let myself adjust before the need to move took over.

Placing my hands on Trevor’s chest, I slowly started to thrust my hips.

The groan that left his mouth brought a smirk to my face. Trevor kept his hands on my hips but stayed true to his word. He let me set the pace and rhythm, even though I could tell he was trying his hardest not fuck me harder.

After a few minutes of riding him so slow it was almost torturous, I put him out of his misery. Leaning forward, nipples brushing against his chest, I lowered my mouth next to his ear. “Fuck me,” I whispered.

It only took a second for the words to sink in before he drove up into me. Letting out a loud cry, I held on as he did exactly what I asked of him.

His dirty whispers had my body humming with need.

“Fuck yes.”

“Look at how well you take me.”

“So fucking tight.”

They all drove me closer to the edge.

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