Page 57 of Fear of Intimacy

“Cum for me.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. I exploded a second after that. Everything went dark as I rode out my orgasm. Trevor’s grunts and moans echoed in my ears as I clenched tight around him. A few hard thrusts upward and I felt him finish deep inside of me, his whole body tensing under me as he rode out his own orgasm.

It was highly likely that when I thought back on our first time together, I’d say I blacked out. But really, it was just the sensation of euphoria skipping through my veins that had me seeing black.

Not even a few moments later, Trevor’s tongue licked up the side of my neck. Using his chest to help me reposition myself, I slipped off of him and to the side, using his arm as a pillow as we both looked at each other. When our eyes locked, I felt that long-lost piece in my heart fall back into place.

18

TASHA

“Your parents are serious about an arranged marriage?” Trevor asked.

“Apparently. I shouldn’t even be surprised.” I traced my finger along the lion tattoo Trevor had on his shoulder that wrapped down to his chest. I was currently lying on top of him, one leg hooked over his, a sheet barely covering us.

It was close to three in the morning, but neither of us seemed keen on going to bed. My body still hummed after the last round we had. I lost count of how many times Trevor made me come with the way his fingers traced up and down my spine. I knew there would be at least one more before we went to sleep.

“They’ve done this before?” he asked.

“They’ve tried to set me up with their friend's sons before, but that was more subtle than this. We’d usually go to dinner and he’d be there so I’d have no choice but to talk. Or I’d be required to attend one of their events, and they’d nudge me to go start a conversation.”

“Wow, that’s…” Trevor seemed unsure what to say to that, his words trailing off.

“Yeah,” I mumbled.

“Your parents sound great,” Trevor joked.

“Don’t they?” I snorted. My fingers kept tracing his skin almost like if I stopped, he’d disappear. “Do you talk to your parents?” The words left my mouth before I could stop them.

I knew the subject of family was sensitive for him since he told me a little bit about them in Australia. I didn’t want to bring up something unwanted, but I also wanted to learn more about him. Learn what made him into the man he was today, even if that meant getting to know all the bad parts.

Trevor’s fingers stalled on my back, and he laid still below me. When a minute or so passed with no word, I knew I overstepped. It was too soon for me to ask that kind of question. I should have known better.

“Sorry, I—” I made the motion to get off his chest, but I didn’t make it far before Trevor’s hand on my back kept me rooted there on my stomach. I peered up under my lashes at him, hoping I hadn’t upset him.

“The last time I spoke to my parents was right after I got drafted.” Trevor stared up at the ceiling, his fingers once again tracing a path on my skin. I listened as he spoke, lying my chin on my hands on his chest.

“I hadn’t heard from them in months. They didn’t even call to congratulate me on the day of the draft, so I don’t know why I thought they would because they never called…for anything. When I got drafted, I was with Wyatt’s family on their couch, cameras pointed at us, and I waited. It’s not every day you get your name called for the third pick, let alone with the same team as your best friend.”

The way he talked about Wyatt and his family gave me the inkling that he cared deeply for them. They may not have been blood related, but they showed up more than his own parents did.

“Anyway, it was a few weeks after when I finally heardfrom them. Not to congratulate me, though.” My chest tightened at the hurt in his voice. “They wanted to know how much money I was promised and if I could give them some.”

I made a noise—one that had to have shown how appalling I thought that was—but stayed quiet.

“Apparently, they needed money for rent. Their landlord was about to kick them out, but I also knew the real reason they asked for it. They needed it for drugs.” Trevor shook his head, his jaw tight. “Nothing about me making it to the league or being proud of me. Just how much I could transfer over into their bank account.”

My heart broke. All he wanted was his parents to tell him they were proud of him, to see that their son did something with his life. Yet all they wanted was money for drugs, and they knew Trevor had the means to provide that.

“So, I paid their rent for a year and gave them five thousand dollars. Didn’t hear a single thank you. After that, I cut them off. Blocked their numbers and left them alone.”

When I first met Trevor, I only thought he was a fuckboy. He was always that funny, lighthearted, takes nothing serious type of guy. But I clearly had it all wrong. He may be all those things, but he’s also selfless and caring. Even when some people didn’t deserve it.

I knew there was nothing I could say right then, and I had a feeling he wouldn’t want any of my sympathy either. So I did the only thing I could. I placed kisses on his chest, moving up his neck until I reached his lips, kissing him softly.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” I whispered when I pulled away.

“I think I need another reminder.” Trevor grinned at me. The haunted look in his eyes slowly disappeared. Smiling, I kissed him again. “One more.”

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