Page 1 of Fear of Intimacy

1

TASHA

“You do realize something will go wrong on this vacation, right?” I said through the phone as I moved around my office.

“Don’t say that. You’ll jinx us!”my best friend Josie Scott scolded with a laugh, but I was right. Something always went wrong on vacations, whether you forgot to pack underwear, got the wrong hotel room, or worse, missed your flight, thanks to delays.

“Are you excited to go?” I asked, although I already knew the answer. This vacation was the only thing Josie could talk about for the last few weeks. Literally every single day, my phone had at least two to three messages from Josie talking about this trip.

When her boyfriend, Wyatt Boone, the captain of the Toronto Knights hockey team, won the Cup Championship game a few months ago, Josie threw a small party to celebrate. But with the hockey season about to start again, Jo thought why not take a trip with our entire group of friends to celebrate?

After aligning everyone's schedules, all eight of us wereset to go toWhitsunday Island. A beautiful island off the coast of Australia that looked beyond beautiful in the photos Josie sent to the group chat. Bright blue waters and gorgeous, sandy beaches. A cute little town.

“Of course! Are you packed yet?”

“Jo, we leave in four days.”

“So? You don’t want to forget anything.”

I'd known Josie since University and knew how she could get. She was the type to pack days ahead and then stress that she forgot something. It wouldn’t surprise me if she already had her bags packed and sitting by the door, ready to go. She was the “airport dad” who got there hours early and made sure everyone had their tickets and waited at the terminal way earlier than needed.

“I promise I’ll start packing when I get home from work,” I said as I went over to my desk to grab my notepad. My next patient was set to come any moment.

“Remember, we’ll be there for five days,”she reminded me.

“Thanks, Mom,” I teased, knowing she meant well. “I better go, babe. I have a patient coming. I’ll text you later.”

I barely ended the call when a knock sounded on my office door.

“Come in,” I called out, snatching up a pen as soon as the door opened. I smiled at the sight of my next patient, a young seventeen-year-old girl who I’d been seeing for the past three months.

“How have you been, Lily?” I asked as I took a seat in my chair across from hers.

“I’ve been good.”

Inwardly, I cheered at the fact she didn’t stutter and was actually looking at my face. When Lily first came to me, she couldn’t sit still for longer than a minute, always messing with her hands, clothing, or hair. She wouldn’t even look up at me the first week. The poor girl had such bad socialanxiety, along with a few other things, that brought her here.

I was pleased with the progress we had made these last few months. In just a short amount of time, I'd seen Lily slowly come out of her shell more and more. She held conversations now and even cracked some jokes.

It was people, or kids, like Lily, that made me love my job as a counselor. A lot of people assumed I was a psychiatrist, and I guess in a way I was, but I didn’t prescribe medication. I was here to listen to anyone who needed someone to talk to. To be the soundboard for whatever they were going through.

While I loved my job, it was also very draining. It could be incredibly hard hearing things from patients. Some days were more emotionally draining than others, but knowing I'd made a little difference in someone's life made it all worth it.

I hadn’t always known I wanted to be a counselor. Ever since I could remember, it was an unwritten rule that I would follow in my parent's footsteps. Be a part of the family business, but it was the last thing I wanted. I wanted to pave my own path and do something that gave me a purpose of my own.

It wasn’t until the end of my freshman year in university when I took a psychology class that I knew what I wanted to do. Growing up, I may not have had someone who listened to me, but I could be that for someone else.

“How has school been?” I asked as I settled back in my chair.

“It’s been good.”

With that, Lily launched into how her week went. The once shy girl talked animatedly while I gladly sat back and let her talk. “I-I think I’m going to go hang out with some girls from school on Friday,” Lily said, her words surprising me.

“Oh really?” That was the first time she’d ever mentioned hanging out with anyone from school. One of the main reasons her parents brought her to me was because she wasn’t making friends. She was shutting herself off from talking or meeting people. So, hearing her say this brought a smile to my face.

“A girl from my history class asked me,” Lily said shyly. She played with her fingers as she spoke, but I could tell from her body language that she was suppressing her excitement.

“That’s great, Lily. What are you guys going to do?”

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