Page 2 of Fear of Intimacy

“Maybe go to the mall and see a movie.”

“I’m proud of you, Lily. This is a big step for you. Going out and making friends is exciting.”

“Yeah,” she whispered. I knew she was nervous, and I had a feeling she might try to talk herself out of going. Setting my notepad aside, I sat forward a bit.

“I promise it will be fun. Just be yourself and don’t overthink it. Be in the here and now, okay?” My voice was gentle as I spoke. I didn’t want to push her, but I also wanted her to know she didn’t need to be in her head and worry. Which I knew she tended to do.

“O-Okay, I can do that.” She nodded.

“But always remember, if you don’t like something or don’t want to do anything, say something or call your parents, okay?” Again, she nodded. Seeing the clock above her hit an hour, I slowly stood up. “When I get back, you can tell me all about it.” Definitely going to be one appointment I was looking forward to having.

“Thank you, Ms. Davis.” When Lily stood her shoulders were less by her ears and her head was held a bit higher.

“Anytime, Lily.” I gave her an encouraging smile as I led her out of my office with the promise to see her soon. I made a quick note in my notepad to call her parents and see about cutting her appointments down.

Once Lily was gone, I closed my office door and sat back in my chair with a sigh. It was always a good day when you saw the self-growth of a patient firsthand, especially someone as young as Lily. With no one else scheduled for today, I let myself sit there a bit longer, rolling my neck at the stress building in my shoulders.

With it already being four thirty, I tapped my intercom, telling the girl at the front desk she could go home early. No point in keeping her here when it was just me. The building I worked in had multiple counselors, along with medical offices. All five of us had our own offices but shared two assistants.

With everyone gone, I welcomed the peace and quiet as I twirled in my office chair. I had some paperwork I needed to get done and sorted before our trip, but I took a moment for myself. With back-to-back patients, I was drained.

Knowing that the sooner I got my work done, the sooner I could go home to a glass of wine, I groaned inwardly. I sat up and got to work on finishing up some things, the desire to go home urging me to get it done faster.

No sooner had I picked up my pen, my phone rang. I didn’t bother looking at the name flashing across the screen, figuring it was Josie or one of our other girlfriends.

“Hello?”

“Tasha.”The voice belonged to neither of those options. I sat up straight and gripped my pen.

“Mother.” I couldn’t remember the last time I talked to my mom. It wasn’t often she or my father reached out.

“How have you been?”Normally, that kind of question would come with actual curiosity from people but not my mother. No, it was more of a courtesy to ask but came with an underlying meaning of ‘I don’t really care.’

“Good, I—” I started to answer when she cut me off.

“You won’t believe who your father and I ran into the other day.Ryan…”My mother went off about some son of a wealthy businessman that I had the displeasure of meeting a few times.

Back in the day, my parents would drag me to socialite events, forcing me to interact with people my age who had rich parents like my own. Something I despised. I hated being paraded around by my parents like I was some prized toy.

My parents cared more about how people saw them on the outside than anything else. Didn’t care that their only daughter was miserable. Didn’t care that she only wanted their attention, not their money.

Not wanting to go down that rabbit hole right now, I pinched the bridge of my nose and interrupted my mom.

“Why did you call, Mom?”

“I can’t call and talk to my daughter?”We both knew that was a lie. She didn’t call just to talk to me. She wouldn’t listen even if I did speak.“I wanted to see if you would be attending our yearly gala in a few weeks.”

Ah, there it was. I knew there was a reason behind this phone call, seeing as it's been ages since we last spoke.

I had forgotten that the gala my parents threw every year was coming up. It was supposed to be some charity event but instead it was a party where the wealthiest socialites of Toronto got together to talk business and flaunt their money. For me, it was an affair where I had to wear a suffocating gown and make stupid small talk with people who looked down their noses at everyone.

My mother worded it like I had a choice in going. I didn’t. I was expected to go every year. Robert and Jennifer Davis couldn’t have their only daughter not show up to the biggest socialite party of the year. With them having the biggest law firm in Toronto, there were expectations that I had to uphold.This gala being one of them.

“I’ll have to see about work.”

“You’re still working at that place?”I didn’t miss the disdain in her voice as she spoke about my job. A job she nor my father fully approved of. They wanted me to come work for them at their law firm. When I told them no, I disappointed them to no end, something they loved to remind me of whenever they had the chance.

“Yes, Mom, I am.” I heard her scoff through the phone. It made me grind my teeth together. And this is why I was glad we only talked a few times a year and rarely saw each other in person. I could picture my mom clear as day sticking her nose up and glaring down at me.

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