Timmy’s mouth drops open as Tate snaps, “I fucking knew I recognized that fucker when he walked in here looking all legal and shit; he watched Pussy for us….”
Pussy? Seriously?
I shake my head, and lean over the bar and kiss Tate’s cheek, making him smile as I kiss Timmy’s.
He grins and says, “Thanks, sweetheart.”
I smile and reply, “Any time,” before I walk to the door as Ken opens it for me. I pat the big man’s back in thanks before breathing in, my hand going over my stomach as a feeling fills me—hope that everything is going to be okay….
As I get to my car, my phone rings, and I sigh, knowing full well it’s my mother. Travis is in church, and no one else calls me.
She hasn’t stopped, to be honest.
Groaning, I unlock my car and climb in before grabbing the cell phone from my bag, which I throw on the passenger seat as I answer my phone.
“Hi, Mom,” I say as I lean back in the seat.
“Hi, Mom. Is that all you have to say after weeks without contact?” she demands, and I sigh.
“You hung up on me after I shared what was going on with my marriage! What did you expect?” I ask, incredulous.
She’s quiet for a moment, and I check my cell to see if the lines disconnected. Finally, she speaks, shocking me. “I’m sorry,” she says, and I don’t say anything else, too much in shock. She’s never apologized before, like ever.
Am I in a Twilight Zone or something?
She continues, “When you called me in tears, explaining what that man did to you, something inside me broke, Heaven. Now, I’ve not been the best mom,” I wince, again not denying it, “but right then, at that moment, I knew I had to say everything I could so you didn’t take him back, so you didn’t turn out like me….”
Oh….
My pulse races, and I swallow hard, “Mom?—”
She cuts me off, “No, we both know I can’t live without a man, ever since your father left us, and it didn’t matter what man, as long as he looked after me. I never put you first, even when they tried something with you, I stayed blind to keep my security instead of putting your safety and your happiness before mine. And I wouldn’t blame you one bit if you never wanted anything to do with me, especially knowing I’ll probably never change, but my telling you to leave him was the best thing I ever did for you. He hurt my daughter, and I suddenly saw you as me in the future, your son resenting you, and I wouldn’t allow it.”
I sigh. “It’s not like I decided on a whim, Mom. We’ve been gravitating toward each other over our entire separation.”
“I know,” she admits, “and it scared me. I didn’t see him as wanting you back, Heaven; I saw him as wanting to take Micha from you because I’m so clouded by my own troubles, my own judgment.”
I swallow hard and ask, “And now?”
She’s quiet for a moment before she admits, “I still see it that way,” and I sigh, but she ignores it and continues, “but only because that is how I’m programmed. Right now, you’re doing therapy, something I never did with any of my ex-partners, but you are doing it, he is doing it, he’s fighting for you. Don’t care about what I say or think, Heaven. I know it’s hard, but I need you to block me out, for your sake and your son’s, and I’ll try my hardest to see the bigger picture regarding Anchor.”
I blink in shock, and I mutter, “Who are you, and what have you done with my mother?”
She chuckles and admits, “I’m alone for the first time since meeting your father. I have no boyfriend, I work at a grocery store, and I no longer rely on anyone, including my daughter. I’m trying to learn to love myself again, like I did before your father hurt me.”
“I’m proud of you, Mom,” I admit quietly.
Do I wish she’d done this years ago? Yeah, I do, but everyone needs to learn the hard way, and go at their own pace, something Travis needed to figure out about me and where I stood with our marriage.
Will I ever be close to my mom? Most likely not, but I won’t cut her out, not if she’s trying to sort her life out.
After spending a few minutes talking with Mom, which, surprisingly, for the first time since my separation, I did not leave the conversation like I was making a big mistake, I headed to Huntsmen’s Grub, the club’s diner my son had gone to with his friends.
It doesn’t take me too long, but because it's dinner time, the parking lot is jam-packed, and I end up parking down the street.
Grumbling all the way to the diner, I go to walk in but freeze when I see Ginger and some other women that I can only guess are clubwhores.
Crap.