“Sit down,” Salem barked at Alexei.
Whoa.
This wasn’t going to go well. Alexei didn’t like taking orders from Salem. At least in their personal life.
“He is dead. But our girl is here, alive, and hurting. She needs us right now,” Salem told him. “She’s fading away before our eyes. Being eaten alive by guilt and despair. And we are going to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
“We’ve told her it wasn’t her fault. That she’s ours. Why doesn’t she get it?” Alexei said.
She wanted to point out that she was right here and they didn’t need to talk about her like she wasn’t. However, she didn’t feel like speaking up. That would take energy she didn’t have.
“Because she’s never really had anyone love her and believe in her,” Roman said as he took the plate of food off the tray and put it on the table. “We need to show her that she’s worthy of love.”
There went those tears again.
“Do these things ever stop?” she asked as she wiped at them.
Alexei sat once more and lifted her onto his lap. Salem swiped her cheeks with his thumbs.
“It’s all right to cry,” Salem told her.
“I was never allowed. Grandpa hated it when I cried. He would send me for a run, no matter what the time. The first few times he made me kill and gut an animal; I cried so hard that I puked. It was awful. And he would make me go for a run until I stopped crying.”
“Fucking bastard,” Alexei muttered.
It seemed that she’d triggered his murderous side. She felt sorry for his sparring partner when he next hit the gym.
“I know he was just trying to harden me up. He kept saying that he needed to make me resilient and tough so I could survive. I don’t know . . . maybe he thought he was helping me? But really he was just traumatizing me.”
“Of course it traumatized you,” Roman said. Reaching out, he gently cupped the side of her face.
Her breath stopped in her lungs.
Roman touching her still had the power to surprise her. Even though he was so much freer with his touch now than he had been in the past.
“We’re going to help you. You aren’t alone anymore. All you have to do is let us.”
“I don’t know if I know how.” A sob escaped. Oh, this was horrible.
“We’re going to help you figure that out too,” Salem told her. “We’re taking care of you. Starting with feeding you. Open up.”
Salem reached for a fork and scooped up some lasagna. But she just couldn’t.
She was so broken. Scattered into a thousand pieces. Bit by bit they seemed to be catching each piece. Could they hold her? Could they capture enough of her to put her back together?
If anyone could, it was the three of them.
“Pet,” Salem warned.
“I don’t think I can eat. I think it will come back up.” She put her hand on her stomach. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could. It all looks delicious. Sorry.”
“You do not have to be sorry for this, Bunny,” Alexei told her. “For calling yourself unlovable and evil and everything else, yes. But not for your body’s reaction to trauma.”
“However, she does need sustenance,” Roman said. “She hasn’t eaten in days, has barely drunk. I’m worried she’s dehydrated.”
Salem placed the fork down and picked up her hand. He pinched the skin on the back of it. It slowly returned to normal.
“Definitely dehydrated,” Salem confirmed. “Get her some water and an electrolyte drink. But put the water in a baby bottle. And we need to get some sort of meal replacement drink and another baby bottle.”