Page 39 of Bitter Beats

“Yeah, but it won’t be real.” I wave a dismissive hand.

“But it will need tolookreal,” he reminds me.

I shake my head. “You’re really going to give up your parties and your women? Lia and the others? Come on, Mav, this is a terrible idea. I’ll end up looking like a dumb airhead whose rockstar boyfriend fucks around on her, and you’ll end up?—”

“I won’t fuck around on you,” he cuts me off, his eyes hard.

I laugh. Not a giggle. Or a chuckle. Nope, my body bends in two, and I clasp Mav’s arm for support as I succumb to the insanity of this discussion. I laugh hysterically and desperatelyuntil tears prick the corners of my eyes, and my words are nonsensical.

He said that like he meant it. Like he would treat this…this arrangement…as a commitment. Maverick Tate wants to…date me? And make it look real.

Look real. Even though it’s fake.

It’s all fake. Right?

I grip his arm tighter. It has to be fake.

Because if I let myself believe that Mav cares for me—even as a friend, even a little—I’ll lean into him. And I can’t afford to lean on anyone. I can’t be that naïve, trusting girl anymore.

I won’t.

“All okay in here?” Jameson folds his arms across his chest, one shoulder leaning against the kitchen entrance.

At his interruption, I straighten and drag the backs of my hands over my eyes.

I’m fine. I’m okay. I got this.

“Give us a minute,” Mav snaps.

“You’ve had ten minutes,” his brother mutters, staring at me curiously. “You okay, Kenny?”

I nod, still chortling, as I wipe tears from my cheeks. I don’t respond because words fail me as another bubble of laughter bursts from my lips.

I got nothing!

“For fuck’s sake,” Mav mutters.

Jameson sighs. “Two minutes.” He holds up two fingers and turns around.

Mav narrows his eyes at the back of his brother’s head.

Then, he focuses on me. He bends his knees and dips, so we’re eye to eye. “Mckenna, I swear to you, I won’t throw parties; I won’t fuck around with Lia and the other women.” He works a swallow as if the thought of forgoing sex is physically painful. I guess with how often he indulges, it would be. “I won’tembarrass you or cause you to hate me any more than you already do.”

The promise in his words pulls me up short. He’s…serious. Damn him. My laughter disappears as quickly as it started. I swipe my tongue over my lips and admit a truth. “I don’t hate you.” My voice cracks.

He gives me a look, and I manage a watery smile.

“I’ll give you my best, even if it’s lacking,” he promises. I know it’s the best he can offer, and I appreciate his honesty.

“I’ll pay you back for?—”

“Nothing. Please, let me make this even. This isn’t charity, Mckenna,” he reminds me.

“My tuition is over fifty-thousand dollars, Maverick,” I say firmly. “I’m one-hundred-sixty-thousand-dollars in debt and?—”

“Fuck,” Levi says from the doorframe.

Maverick and I glare at him, and he tosses his hands in the air, backing out slowly.

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