Page 99 of Silenced

Maybe he can sense that he scared me because he starts toying with my hair again, which simultaneously puts his hands out of action for signing and calms me down.

For the rest of our time in the bathtub, we don’t talk. It’s both relaxing and odd to be this at ease with my captor.

Until we get out of the water and he insists on inserting the menstrual cup, that is.

For a moment, I’m sure he’s kidding. Then, I sputter, “Are you for real?”

He angles his head to the side in a gesture that I’m coming to know means, ‘Of course, I’m for real.’

With a growl, I stomp my foot. “There’s no way you can put that in me. Sometimes even I can’t get it in right!”

He shrugs and retrieves the tampon from his pants.

That’s when I gape at him.

Of course, I gape the hardest when he signs, “There should be nothing between a man and his woman.”

His woman?

When didthathappen?

Unsure if I’m about to start hyperventilating or hysterically laughing, I don’t even argue when he nudges me toward the partition where there’s a separate toilet.

Though he’s blowing my mind with this Neanderthal display, a spark hits me between the eyes when we’re halfway there.

It’s enough to make me tug on his hand, and though I could remind him of our agreement, instead, I demand, “What do I get as a reward?”

Negotiating—it’s something I know he’ll permit.

He stills, studies my face forwhatever, then, after letting go of his hold on me, purses his lips as he signs, “What do you want?”

The word ‘freedom’ could and should spill off my lips.

But I don’t think to ask for that.

Not only because I don’t think he’s that generous, but because, fuck a duck, I don’t particularly want to leave.

Harvey’s out there.

Albanians are out there.

These walls might be closing in, but…

“To go into the garden.”

He straightens; maybe he thought I’d ask for something else too? But slowly, he nods.

Which is how, five minutes later, he’s the one inserting a goddamn tampon into my cooch.

“When did this become my life?” I mutter to myself in a daze.

Yet, somehow, the promise of going outside is worth it.

23

CASSIE

I wasn’tsure what I expected when I woke up the following day.

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