Page 175 of Silenced

“Who didn’t he?” I retort airily. “I’m not going to say anything. Why would I?”

It’s then, of course, that I realize how strange my words are.

Ihaveseen two murders.

Why the hell do I sound so blasé?

It’s no wonder that Misha thinks I’m a threat—any normal woman would be.

But I’m not normal.

Iama product of an abusive relationship. Justice, I’ve learned, never comes with much help from the boys in blue.

Tipping up my chin, I intone, “I have no intention of surviving my marriage to Harvey Rundel only to die at the hands of the Bratva for betrayal.”

Misha sniffs.

As we approach Miami, turbulence hits, but Nikolai holds me firmer than a seatbelt ever could as Misha and Igor discuss their plan while Nikolai listens in.

But, his part in the discussion is passive. It isn’t aboutlistening; it’s about grieving.

He’s in mourning.

Dmitri still lives, but Nikolai is already processing his death.

This is the world I now inhabit, I suppose.

Death, jail, violence, and crime—that’s the Bratva way, and as scary as that might be, I’ve already been living so long with those four criteria that Harvey prepared me for this life without even knowing it.

So, I turn my face into Nikolai’s throat, settle my arms around his waist, and give him what I can—comfort, understanding, and love.

It might be my imagination, but the rock beneath me softens some as Misha discusses an update he’s received from a Brigadier called Valkov and how he’s stamping out B4K and containing the situation in Miami until Nikolai returns home.

Despite his grief, the brutal underworld he exists in continues turning on its axis.

It’s then I recognize what I can give him… a soft place to land when everything turns on its head.

43

CASSIE

A man calledIosif Arsenyev is waiting for us when we arrive.

He’s the one who tells us how Dmitri was shot. Who shares what’s going down in the city as we traverse its boundaries and head for the Everglades.

Our first stop isn’t a hospital like I assumed it’d be.

No,Navis.

That’s where Dmitri’s hooked up to a million tubes and wires in a hospital room that I’ve never seen before.

That the estate has a medical wing is indicative of how frequently it’s needed, I guess.

Nikolai takes one look at Dmitri, closes his eyes a second to bank the sorrow within, and then, he’s back to being ice cold.

I’ll never forget my father’s bizarre mannerisms. Well, bizarre to an American. He could be so cold. So rigid. He could stare at me like I was nothing to him.

Then, he’d kiss my forehead while holding my face. He’d hug me tighter than anyone ever had until Niko. If I’d been a boy, he’d have done that too.

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