Page 143 of Silenced

“Done what? Held a woman captive?” His brow furrows at my surprisingly light tone, enough that my cheeks flush. “I was joking. Bad joke, apparently.”

“You see, that’s what doesn’t make sense to me. How youcanjoke about this.”

“Would you prefer for me to cry?”

Even if he did, I don’t think I could.

As that strange thought whispers through my mind, he assures me, “I mean, I’d understand if you did.”

“I don’t need to cry.” It’s the truth. And it’s also the truth that I’m glad I’m Nikolai’s first captive.

Man, that’s insane.

I’m insane.

Perhaps there’s something in the water atNav—

“I love my father.”

I blink at his assertion. “I can tell.”

“I hope so. He’s the reason I’m still alive. He’s the reason I am where I am. He’s the reason that I’m not insane.”

Maybe the water’s safe, then?

Or maybe everyone has different definitions of insanity?

Something he confirms by mumbling, “I fed Tatiana to Vasily because she hurt you, Cassiopeia.He insisted.Foryou.”

“I didn’t ask him to,” I argue, but deep in my belly, unease twists and morphs.

It should turn to fear.

Disgust.

Horror.

Instead, I remember how she fucking denigrated me. How she made me feel like I was less of a human because I wasn’t a size zero. How she told me she knew of a great diet for ‘obese’ women like me.

Did she deserve to die for being a rude and mean fat-shamer?

No.

But she wasn’t just rude and mean tome,nobodyCassie Rundel, was she?

She disrespected the woman Nikolai has claimed ashis.

That was her mistake.

I’m not Cassie Rundel anymore. Not in Nikolai’s eyes, and his are the ones that count in this crazy society he’s in charge of.

Andthatis empowering.

“You didn’t need to ask him to deal with her,” he states, breaking me free from the chokehold of my thoughts before repeating, “I love him.”

Because his voice is impassioned, I gently squeeze his arm. “I understand.”

“No. You don’t. You should ask him sometime about what happened after he left the orphanage with Misha and Maxim.” He sucks in a breath. “He might be the leader here, but he was back then too. Nikolai isn’t your average man.”

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