Page 102 of Silenced

He rolls said eyes then makes a ‘continue’ motion with his hand.

“He wanted to control every moment of every day. He hated when men looked at me. He hated if they touched me. I was his. I belonged to him. I was a possession, but he didn’t want me. By the end, he loathed me but no one else could have me.”

The more I share, the deeper the recognition hits that Nikolai is like Harvey.

A mirror reflection, perhaps, but a reflection nonetheless.

I see him accept that burden of truth, much as the Earth itself settled on Atlas’s shoulders.

“I am not him,” he shares, “but I mean that in more ways than one. I won’t beatyouif a man touches you. I’ll beat him. My world is not Rundel’s. If a man touches you, he means to disrespect me. I can’t let that go unchallenged.”

“I-I understand that.” And I do.

“I told you yesterday that my father beat my mother.” At my sorrowful nod, his gaze trips over my face. “I will never hurt you like that. I am not my father. I am not Rundel. Do you understand?”

I want to.

My mouth works before I whisper, “I’m willing to let you show me you’re not.”

Satisfaction etches lines into his expression. “The world outside these doors is dangerous,solnyshko. I understand that you could believe my measures extreme—”

“Ya think?”

He heaves a sigh at my wide eyes. “You are wanted by the Albanians, Cassiopeia. You are a payment. If they weren’t otherwise engaged, they’d be hunting you just like Rundel undoubtedly is.

“Before I came into your life, you were in more danger than you’ve ever been in. Now, once you step outside on my arm, that danger intensifies by a hundred.” Not allowing me to say a word in argument, he continues, “No one will touch you again. No one will hurt you; no one will use you.”

“No one but you,” I point out, but my tone isn’t bitter.

An expression flickers over his face, one that I’d like to think is hurt. “You are safe with me,” is his reply.

I know what he’s offering me, and yes, it’s an offer.

I can stay inside these walls and no one will know that I’m here.

The Albanians will still want me, and so will Harvey. The dangerhasdoubled, but if I leave, I won’t be free either.

It’s clear to me what he’s saying, but I repeat it out loud anyway, “You won’t let me go, will you?”

His gaze shutters but he raises a handgently, so as not to startle me. The backs of his knuckles trickle down my cheeks, skimming along my chin, over my lips and throat—places he marked as his yesterday.

Then, he lifts his hand higher still, to his eye height. It makes a curving motion as he slices it downward.

It doesn’t take someone fluent in ASL to interpret what he just said.

Never.

24

NIKOLAI

Her nerves immediately spike.

I can’t blame her. It’s an unnerving answer, after all, but it’s the truth.

It’s time she knows it.

Does it dampen her time spent in the courtyard?

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