Page 26 of Love Me

“Wh-what do you mean because of me?”

“I stay away because I don’t want to deal with you. All you do is nag and bitch and complain. You used to be fun, a decent enough lay when I was bored. Then you got pregnant with her and turned into an uptight bitch who stopped putting out. The last time I fucked you, I meant what I said. You’re pathetic, Hannah. You’ve always been pathetic.” I’m stunned silent as hetakes steps in my direction. “I’m not like the other girls,” he mimics the voice of a teenage girl, “I’m different. Edgy. I love spooky shit and baking all goddamn day.” He stands directly in front of me now, picking up a lock of my violet-colored hair and looking at it with disgust before dropping it like it burned him. “Enjoy Liam while you got ’em, ’cause once he’s gotten his fill of your used-up pussy, he’s gonna run for the hills just like I did.”

I blink away the tears threatening to spill over at his words. Fuck him. Fuck this. His opinion of me doesn’t mean shit. Whatever.

“Fuck you, Levi, you lying, cheating, piece of shit. And don’t you ever touch me again or I swear to God it’ll be the last goddamn thing you ever do. You have a week to tell her about Charlotte or I will hunt her down and tell her myself. Especially the part where you stuck your shriveled up dick inside me while she was here carrying your child. Figure out how you want to proceed with Charlotte, or I will happily take your ass to court.”

I push past him and storm out of his stupid-ass apartment, stomping all the way across the stupid-ass street to my Jeep. I drive the three and a half hours straight through, and it’s not until I’m safely in my bedroom that I let myself cry.

I snuggle into my body pillow and allow the waves of sadness and fear to crash over me. Levi managed to hit me where it hurts, filling my head with already-present insecurities and pulling them to the surface. How did I end up here? These are supposed to be the best years of my life and I’m living them like a zombie, barely functioning through the days, working long hours, focusing on raising my daughter as a single mom, and holding onto a relationship that has been nonexistent for a very long time. I was just too stupid to see it.

I held on to Levi because it’s what I already thought I had. Isettled. Desperate to create a family for my daughter when that’s all I wanted for both of us. Maybe my parents are right, I’m burning out and there’s no way I can sustain this way of living. I just wanted to have a little family for my daughter and didn’t want to be alone.

But here I am, feeling more alone than ever.

CHAPTER 9

liam

Friday nightfinally rolls around and I’m eager as fuck to get Hannah out and alone. We spent last weekend together taking Charlotte ice skating and had two movie nights over the week. But it’s not enough. People are starting to whisper, but we haven’t outright come out and confirmed anything except to Owen. Besides not living together and the physical displays of affection, Hannah and I have been operating like a married couple since Charlie was born. I take her to school most days of the week, leaving work to help get her ready for the day while Hannah juggles Bean Haven, and whenever Hannah is running late, I pick her up. Our lives are already deeply embedded with each other, it’s been tricky to change anything up and expect people to notice. But that all changes tonight.

Carter and I meet up behind Bean Haven so that I can talk to him in person before heading up to Hannah’s.

“What up, Casanova? You ready for your fun Friday night?”

“Fuckin’ babysitting. I’m the goddamn king of this littletown, could spend it with whoever I want, and you got me chillin’ with Little Miss Sass.”

“Hey, I’d say that’s the best Friday night if you ask me.”

“Didn’t though, did I, lint licker?”

“For fuck’s sake you all gotta find a better nickname,” I blurt, rolling my eyes. “Hannah is probably already putting Charlie to sleep, but she may get out of bed a few hundred times before she finally stays put and crashes. Just keep taking her back there and she’ll eventually give in.”

“Sounds easy enough. I’m the cool uncle anyway, she’s gonna wanna hang. She can’t stay up?”

“No, idiot. She’s three. She needs to stick to her routine, she’ll be crabby as shit tomorrow if you keep her up.”

“Well what the fuck am I supposed to do while she sleeps?”

“What are you, twelve? Watch a damn movie or start a new show for all I care. Stay out of Hannah’s bedroom or I’ll fuckin’ strangle you slowly, bring you right to the brink of death, let you think you’re gonna survive, and then do it again and again before finally watching your life slip from your eyes. Got it?”

He bristles. “Fuck, you’re scary when you wanna be.”

I poke him hard in the chest. “Yep. So remember that. C’mon, let’s get upstairs so Han and I can hit the road.”

I take confident strides across the small parking lot and up the stairs to the apartment, nothing but excitement fueling each step. All bets are off starting tonight. It’s time I show Hannah that I can be so much more. She may be fake dating me to change her circumstances, but there isn’t anything fake about any of this for me.

I knock twice on the door before opening it slowly since Carter is with me. I’m not about to allow him to see Hannah less than fully dressed. She’s probably one of the only girls he hasn’t messed around with.

“Han? I’m here, and I brought the dipshit with me. You ready?”

Hannah pops around the corner, her violet hair left down, falling around her shoulders in big waves. She’s done her makeup in a way that makes her pretty light brown eyes pop, and is wearing a pair of denim jeans that look like they were painted on, a pair of boots that come up slightly past her ankle with big buckles, a large T-shirt with Valek on the front, and her leather jacket. She’s so fucking cute.

“Casanova! You’ll be flying pretty solo tonight. She is wiped out and it’s only seven. I’d be surprised if she got up, but you never know,” Hannah tells Carter.

“Lame. We’ll be fine, I brought my laptop to get some work done anyway.”

“Working on anything fun?”

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