Page 25 of Love Me

“For fuck’s sake! Why can’t everyone let that go? It was one time! Who doesn’t want to steal a street sign that says Booty Street when you’re sixteen? It’s funny!”

“Hey,” he says, his voice taking on a more serious tone, “you’ve got this. You’re strong as fuck and he never deserved you. Hand him his balls, baby.”

My head bounces back slightly because he’s never called me that before. He drops a quick kiss to the top of my head before walking past me to the kitchen without saying another word, leaving me flustered once again.

By the time I get to Seattle, any trace of sadness I felt over this situation has completely dissipated. All that remains is a scorned woman who wanted nothing more than to protect her child. If Levi wants to be Father of the Year to his new child, so be it. But he needs to make a decision about his role in Charlotte’s life and stick to it. A nagging feeling in the back of my head tells me that there’s going to be a long fight ahead of me either way. Bring it, asshole.

Parking across the street from his apartment, I take a moment to think through how I want to play this. A huge part of me wants to go in guns blazing and set him and his house onfire but the other part wants to see what he’ll do if I act like I don’t know a damn thing. But he has to know Liam wouldn’t keep a bomb like this from me.

Fuck it. Let’s light this shit up.

I slam my Jeep door and march up the stairs to pound my fist against the big, ugly green entrance, waiting for Levi—or whoever the hell could also be living here—to answer it. Just as I’m about to knock again, the door opens, Levi’s dumbass self looking back at me in surprise.

“What are you doing here, Hannah?”

“Hi to you, too,” I say as I duck beneath his arm that he’s braced against the doorframe and walk into his apartment. “Why, yes, I would love to come in, thanks for inviting me.”

The entryway leads to a small open-concept living space, a sleek kitchen off of that, and a set of stairs leading to the second story off the main room. It’s decorated with a large black leather couch and matching industrial looking coffee and end tables. There’s zero art on the white walls, but the fireplace is a nice touch. It’s all very modern and . . .sterile. I would be so unhappy here. It’s clear he never learned to clean up after himself because soda bottles, wrappers, and used plates litter the coffee table, complete with an Xbox remote lying on one of the cushions as if I interrupted his game. I do a quick spin, taking it all in with a disgusted look gracing my face.

“Mommy and Daddy helping you pay for this place or is the fishing paying you that well?”

“Always with the bitchiness, you wonder why I stopped fucking you.”

“Oh, no biggie, I’m being thoroughly well fucked,” I lie. “You could at least hire a maid if you’re pulling in the dough,” I mock as I knock a sock off the back of the couch.

Levi hasn’t left his spot at the front door, his arms crossed tightly over his chest as he watches me walk through his spacefor the first time, his stare angry and pinched. I’ve always been so busy with Bean Haven and raising Charlie that we relied on Levi to come home to visit us. I guess now I know why he never invited us up here. The second family and all.

I take in the man I’ve been tied to for the last eight years, and it dawns on me that I don’t know him at all anymore, if I ever did. We started seeing each other off-and-on our senior of high school, then took a break when I went to college with Liam, and since he was home when I dropped out, we just fell back into the same pattern. We were never in love with each other. The room never lit up when he walked into it. I’ve never had butterflies when he looked at me or even touched me.

He’d been my first real relationship—if you can even call it that—and while he holds so many of my firsts, looking at him right now, I feel nothing but disdain and disappointment. Was there a time I wished he would race home at the end of the day to be with me and Charlotte? Of course. Do I lay in bed at night and wish someone held me tightly wrapped up in their arms? More times than I’d like to admit. Do I use my vibrator a few times a week and pretend someone else is ravishing my body? Making me feel desired, worshiped, just fuckingwanted?

The more I think about it, the more it hits me that it was neverhimthat I wished for. It was just the absolute loneliness of my circumstance that made me find myself desperately wanting those things. But not with Levi.

“So, who is she?”

He doesn’t even flinch, expression blank and fucking dead. Was he always such a pathetic piece of shit and I was just too blind to it?

“Figured your little dog would run and tell you, always such a loyal fuck.”

“Oh, he’s a good fuck alright,” I quip without missing a beat.

His eyes flash to mine, finally an expression. I don’t even feel the slightest bit ashamed that I’m letting him think such a thing. That’s right, asshole. Fuck with me.

“Finally got to fuck you, huh? He’s only been trying for a lifetime. Too bad you’re washed up now. He knock you up, too? Only reason he’d continue to fuck your sorry ass, Hannah, don’t be an idiot.”

“I’m not a fucking idiot, Levi! You’re the daft piece of shit with a second life over here in Seattle. You think I’d never find out, you pig? Liam says she’s pretty far along. Must be close to her due date. Hmm.” I tap my finger on my chin patronizingly, pretending to think hard. “That means she must be at least what? Seven? Eight months along? At least, right? Wait, didn’t you just fuck me a few months ago?”

“Shut the fuck up, Hannah!” He steps forward and I slip my hand into my jacket pocket, firmly grasping the mace Liam gave me to carry for whenever I leave the safety of Aspen Ridge.

“What’s your plan then, huh, you fucking tool? We share a child! Does she even know about me? About Charlotte?”

His eyes squint, and I release a maniacal laugh.

“Wow. Just fucking wow. So, what? Just going to ignore your responsibilities like you have been? Charlie doesn’t even know who you are!”

“Because of YOU!”

I take a step back like he slapped me.

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