Page 85 of Worthy

″Why didn’t you say anything?” Rick meets my eyes, his own a mixture of confusion and sadness.

″What do you mean?” I say cautiously. I haven’t told anyone about Cade, so I’m not sure what Rick’s getting at.

″Maddox, you’ve been different since you got back. I couldn’t figure out why, none of us could. Then I saw Cade. You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

I’m afraid if I try to speak my voice will crack, so I nod instead.

Rick sighs. “That’s what I thought. You didn’t tell him?”

″I didn’t want him to feel obligated to say it back,” I exhale. “He’d never been in a relationship before, and I didn’t want my feelings to influence his. Letting him say it first was the only way I’d know if the words were genuine.”

″Okay.” Rick nods, turning my words over in his mind. “I can follow your logic. But if he had been the first to admit his feelings would that make yours any less genuine?”

″I…you’re making it sound like you know what his feelings are,” I venture.

″Picked up on that, did you?” He smirks. “Yes, I know how he feels. I also know he’s as stubborn as you are, which is probably how you two ended up in this mess.”

″What do you mean, stubborn?” I frown. “That doesn’t sound like Cade.”

″Apparently, it’s a new trait he’s picked up, but he’s already a pro.” Rick shakes his head, frustrated. I still don’t follow what he’s getting at. “He’s bound and determined to believe being with him means you’d be giving up your career,” he exhales deeply.

″That doesn’t make any sense,” I protest. “I wouldn’t have to give it up completely. It just might look different in Katah Vista than it would in a place with more resources.”

″Well, he doesn’t see it the same way.” Rick shrugs. “And I’m pretty sure he won’t unless he hears it from you.”

″Hears what from me? That being with him doesn’t mean giving up my career? Or that I love him?” I ask cautiously.

″Either. Both.”

″I’m just supposed to show up out of the blue and tell him I love him?” My eyes bug out.

″If that’s how you feel, then yes.” Rick nods.

I let myself imagine for a minute I could, that if I showed up at his house and told him how I feel we’d get our happily ever after. Only I know it’s not that simple. Cade won’t leave Katah Vista, and while I’m sure I could find something to do there, it would undoubtedly look different than what I originally envisioned for myself. I can live with that, but could Cade? Or would he constantly blame himself for forcing me to go in a different direction, even if I was happy to do it? I’d have to convince him he’s more important to me than my career, and he’s never been good about believing he’s important.

″What if he can’t accept that?” I ask.

″Then he’s not the man I think he is,” Rick says matter-of-factly. “Just think about it, Maddox. I hate to see you unhappy.”

″Okay.” I hear myself agree even though I don’t know if I can.

Rick stands to leave, but before he heads to the door, he reaches into his jacket pocket. “I saw this on my trip. I thought it might interest you.”

I look at the printout he hands me. It’s an advertisement for a job. An environmental science position. My jaw drops to the floor as I look to him for confirmation.

″You heard about the new owner at the ski resort?” he prompts.

I think back to my dinner with Cade’s parents, and the concerts in the park. I do recall talk about a new owner. I’m ashamed to admit I haven’t thought about how that might affect the people in town, especially the ones I’d grown close to.

″Yes,” I reply.

″He’s talking about doing some new development at the resort. That’ll require a lot of study before anything can begin, I imagine.” He winks at me as he heads for the door...

And now here I am, waiting for Cade to get home, so I can confess in a last-ditch effort to see if we have a future together. If he wants one.

The crunch of tires on gravel pulls my gaze to the driveway, where Cade’s truck is rolling to a stop. The engine goes quiet, but the driver’s door stays shut. There’s no movement inside the cab, and because of the sun’s reflection on the glass I can’t see Cade’s face to know what sort of expression he’s wearing. I take a shaky breath, force a blank expression to my face, and wipe my palms again as I stand up.

The door creaks as it opens, echoing in the relative silence around us. Cade steps out but makes no attempt to move away from the truck. Instead, he stands there with a confused look in his eyes, like he can’t make sense of what he’s seeing.

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