Page 86 of Worthy

His face is just as stunning as I remember, but the mischievous spark I grew so fond of is gone, replaced with an almost vacant air. He’s here, but somehow not. Detached almost. Lost.

″Maddox?” He blinks. It’s barely louder than a whisper.

″Hey.” I give a lame little upnod since he makes no move to come closer.

″What are you doing here?” He sounds more disoriented than happy or sad, leaving me to question again whether this was a bad idea.

″I…wanted to see you,” I falter.

He’s still standing by the truck, using it like a shield, or maybe a support. I’m usually better at interpreting his movements, but right now he feels like a stranger.

God, this is awkward.

″I’m sorry,” I blurt. “I shouldn’t have just shown up like this. I’ll go.” I look around for an escape, but Uncle Rick dropped me off, so I either have to call him for a ride or walk. I’m leaning toward the latter and step off the porch when Cade seems to wake from his stupor.

″Don’t leave.” He finally shuts the door and comes toward me. “I didn’t expect to see you, that’s all. Come here.”

He opens his arms so I can step into them, and the moment we connect all the tension and anxiety evaporate. A huge sense of calm washes over me, and from the way Cade sighs I’m sure he feels it too.

We cling to each other and just breathe, and for a moment time seems to stop. My mind goes quiet. His touch shuts out all the doubts, the fears, the what-ifs. I know this doesn’t mean we’re magically okay, we still have things to talk about, but as long as we can hold on to this, to how right it feels to be together, I have to believe we’ll figure it out.

″Come inside,” he whispers, taking my hand and pulling me with him toward the front door.

As we step into the living room, Cade drops my hand and starts rushing around, picking things up, and I’m reminded of the lost look he had earlier. We didn’t spend much time at his house over the summer, but I was here enough to know he keeps it fairly clean, and just like his expression, this clutter is something about him I don’t recognize. I’m not sure whether to feel guilty that my silence led to this, or hopeful I can fix it by telling him the truth.

″Sorry about the mess,” he says. “I haven’t…I’ve been working a lot,” he amends as he clears a spot for me to sit on the couch.

He takes a seat on the opposite end, and once again I start to lose my nerve, the distance between us making me wonder if he’s ready to hear what I have to say. I won’t change my mind, but I can’t just blurt it out. Not when he’s clearly confused about how he should act. I’ll have to ease into this.

″Work?” I ask. “Another build?”

″I’ve been doing some more with the business. Managing stuff.” He meets my eyes briefly as he speaks, then averts them again. Usually, when he doesn’t know what to say he flirts outrageously, but this Cade is subdued. Almost timid. I hope I’m not too late.

″Your dad must be glad to have the help,” I offer.

He nods absently. “I heard you passed your thesis. Congratulations.”

For the first time since he pulled up, my smile isn’t forced. “I did. Thank you.”

″Does that mean you have a job lined up? You stopped by to tell me where you’re off to?” He doesn’t look at me when he asks.

″No job,” I say softly. It’s now or never. “But I did apply for one...Here.”

″Here?” He meets my eyes again, but this time he doesn’t look away. He studies them, searching. Hopeful almost. “In Katah Vista?”

″Not Katah Vista, specifically. The whole county. There’s talk about more development around the mountain, and the kind of infrastructure needed to support that. The environmental impact for such a large-scale project would have to be carefully studied, so there’s a lot of work to do.Yearsof work…” I trail off, not sure how to finish.

″That’s not the alternative energy you wanted to focus on,” he says sadly.

″Not exclusively,” I agree. “But energy resources are part of any development, so I’d still be able to work in my specialty, maybe even with water as a resource.”

″Why?” He shakes his head in disbelief.

He doesn’t have to elaborate. I know exactly why he’s asking that question.

″I could live anywhere in the county. Even right here.” My voice is barely a whisper.

″Don’t do this for me, Maddox.” He closes his eyes, an almost pained expression on his face. “Don’t give up on your dreams for me.”

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