Page 162 of Steel

I bury my head in the softness so it muffles any sobs that escape my tightly pressed lips.

There’s no reason to feel this way. I’m with Steel, and we’re together. Things are different. He’s different. He’s showing me in ways he didn’t in the past that he’s here, that he’s choosing me.

My heart and my head aren’t getting on the same page, though.

My head tells me I’m being ridiculous, but my heart is screaming at me, telling me the only reason we’re even together now is because he had to save me. We’re not together because he wanted me.

And then my brain latches on to a thought and refuses to let go.

Did he mess around with any of them after he rescued me?

The pain of that thought is excruciating.

Chapter thirty-nine

Leaving Bailee alone whenshe’s so upset doesn’t sit right with me, but I wasn’t going to push myself on her when it was the last thing she wanted from me.

Don’t know what else to do, so I grab a beer from the fridge, shut off the alarm, and step out on the back deck.

I check that my gun is on me before dropping into one of the chairs and kicking my feet up onto the porch railing.

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I scroll through my contacts until I reach Emmy Lou’s and hit the call icon.

“Hey, Steel. Everything going okay your way?” Em asks when she answers.

“Sorry. Yeah. Atlas around? Like to get y’all’s thoughts. Help me see things differently.”

“I’m here, man,” Atlas says.

“Tell us what we can do,” Emmy Lou adds.

“Shit’s been goin’ good between Bailee and me. Took her to the clubhouse because Wraith needed to talk to her. Been fuckin’ the club whores after I split with Heather.”

“Oh, boy,” Emmy Lou mutters, already seeing where I’m going with this.

“Rachel got a hold of her before I could put a stop to it. Told Lee I was with her when she called me. Lee already knew, but doesn’t mean it didn’t make impact comin’ from that bitch. Got Bailee thinkin’ about the past between us and has her questionin’ us now.”

“So, you were actually fucking her when Bailee called you?” Em asks.

“Balls deep in her while another was ridin’ her face,” I admit with a grimace.

“Okay. First off, eww. I didn’t need that picture in my head. Secondly, I’m sure that bothered her, but you all hadn’t been together for a long time at that point.”

“Three years,” I add quickly.

“Right,” she replies, laughter in her voice. “You hadn’t been together for three years, so I doubt she’s mad at you for that. Plus, you said she already knew. She was probably hurt because that woman is in love with you, Steel. But she’s also smart. So, as long as you haven’t been with Rachel or the others since that night, just give her time to work through her hurt.”

My heart races, and I grip the bottle of beer tighter. I don’t reply to her as my mind goes over the last time I fucked one of them.

“Steel,” Emmy Lou groans, “tell me you didn’t fuck any of them after Bailee was back in your life.” I don’t answer her, and Em sighs. “At least, tell me you hadn’t been with Lee in any sexual way when you did.”

I let my silence be answer enough because I can already feel their disappointment across the line.

“Dude,” Atlas says.

“Fuck off,” I grumble, taking another gulp from the bottle.

“Does she know about you being with them after her?” Atlas asks.

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