I should have mentioned Rachel’s bullshit to her, but I just don’t have the energy. Don’t even know if it’s a good idea to anyway. She’s nothing I can’t handle, and all it’ll do is hurt Bailee when she doesn’t need to be. Rachel doesn’t mean shit to me. She knows that now, and she apologized. Now, she’ll finally leave me the fuck alone and sink her claws into someone who wants them there.
Hopefully.
Chapter thirty-five
My thoughts are heavywhen I wake up in the morning.
Seeing the damage they did to Steel weighs on me because I know he wouldn’t be in this position if it wasn’t for me bringing this damn mess to him in the first place. I wasn’t lying when I told him there were other avenues I could have used to pursue this shit with Killer. Granted, he was also right when he said those connections wouldn’t know Killer half as well as the club does.
He could have easily lost his spot with them last night. If they didn’t love him as much as they do, or if they’d viewed his actions as a big betrayal to the club, it could have gone a lot worse than him just getting his ass beat. Thankfully, they decided against stripping him of his rank. That would have caused him greater pain than his physical injuries do.
Steel is sleeping peacefully, so I decide not to disturb him. He needs as much rest as possible until we have to go to the clubhouse today.
He mentioned to me last night before he fell asleep that Wraith wants us to come in, and that I need to bring the filmcanister with us. I agreed with him this time because there’s no way it’s worth something happening to him, Lyric, or me. He trusts his club, so it’s past time that I put my trust in them too.
I just hope the film is still secure in the hiding spot I’d found for it when Killer was chasing after me. If it’s not, we’re screwed, and I’m terrified to find out what that’ll mean for me and Steel.
Before heading into the kitchen to get started on breakfast, I creep over to Lyric’s room. She had such a rough night, and I need her to be okay. The amount of pain and anger that kid had inside her terrified the crap out of me. It’s not an amount that is healthy for someone her age.
I wonder how Steel would react if I mentioned therapy for her. I think it’d be something that could help her work through these huge feelings she’s burdened with. There are only so many times I can take her outside to scream her heart out until even that’s not enough. She’s going to need help beyond what either of us can give her.
As much as it scares me to bring it up to him for fear of stepping out of my place, I know that I’ll do it with only her best interest at heart.
When I quietly push the door open, Lyric is spread across her bed, her arms and legs extending in different directions.
The poor girl slept hard and couldn’t get comfortable.
Usually, she stays tucked into the burrito she has us roll her into.
Not wanting to wake her, I watch her chest rise and fall in gentle waves before backing out of the room and shutting the door behind me.
I’m not sure what I want to make for breakfast until I make it into the kitchen and open the fridge to scan the supplies inside. Looks like we’re doing western-style omelets, hashbrowns, toast, and a side of bacon this morning.
The time passes faster than I anticipated as I lose myself in the process of blending ingredients, dicing vegetables, and tossing bacon onto the griddle. It’s easy stuff that doesn’t need much concentration, so I work on getting a pot of coffee going for me and Steel. Grabbing some oranges from the pantry, I squeeze Lyric some fresh orange juice too.
My thoughts drift back to when Steel told me that Heather messaged him. I’d be lying to myself if I said it doesn’t have me concerned. Everything about that woman concerns me, but I keep my mouth shut about it because I don’t feel like it’s my place. I’m so worried I’m going to do something to overstep where I’m welcomed and it’ll cost me Lyric. Losing any time with her would devastate me, and that in itself is terrifying. Not only do I worry about losing Steel, but now I’ve got another person who has managed to crawl into my heart and take up residence. That means double the pain when something happens between me and Steel.
I don’t want to believe it will, but when it comes to him, I’m sort of a pessimist. He doesn’t exactly have the best track record with me. Hell, with Heather either. So, while I may not let him know it or show it to anyone else, that fear resides in me.
What will be left of me when I have neither of them in my life any longer?
It’s not a future I want to imagine.
That future is desolate and devoid of any happiness.
There’s always been something about Heather that I don’t trust. Shoot, even before I met her, she had my hackles rising. I’d chalked it up to me being jealous because she had Steel and his kid, but the longer I’m around Lyric, the more I realize maybe it’s been my intuition telling me something I need to hear.
She’s not a good person. Not just for what she did with her daughter in the room, but because of what she did to Steel. He may eventually let it go, but the feeling of being violated willnever go away when he thinks back on it. I hope for his sake and the sake of his future relationships that he doesn’t think about it often. With time, he’ll heal from it, despite him not believing he has anything he needs to heal from, because I’ll fight like hell to make sure he does.
Arms snake around me, and I squeal. The bacon grease pops at the same time and lands on my hand, setting my skin on fire.
“Dammit, woman.”
I turn and smack him in the arm with the spatula. “Don’t you ‘dammit woman’ me, Jericho. You’re the bright one who decided to sneak up on me while I was cooking. How the hell did I not hear you coming anyway?”
“Didn’t want you to.”
“Well, that was dangerous,” I huff, hiding the smile that wants to be set free at the thought of him wanting to give me morning cuddles.