Page 146 of Steel

“But—”

“No fuckin’ buts. It’s the way it is. Not goin’ to let you put this on yourself. You don’t need that burden. Hear me?”

“I hear you,” she mumbles.

“Thank fuck,” I growl, sliding my hand to her jaw and pulling her to me for a quick kiss. “There’s also something else I want to let you know.” Worry lines appear between her brows, and I rub them away. “Heather reached out to me from rehab. I don’t know how she was able to get a phone to text on because she’s not supposed to have it. It was part of the stipulation when I signed her in. No way to contact anyone in the outside world other than me and Lyric, and that had to be done from an office phone so the doctors could monitor it. It’s not foolproof, but it works as much as it can. Or it should have. Don’t worry about it. Not goin’ to let her fuck with my kid more than she already has.”

“Thank, god. If you witnessed the despondency, pain, and anger inside her that I did, Steel, you’d be ready to do more than send Heather to rehab. It took all we had to get her to eat.The only time I saw any form of life inside that beautiful girl was when I took her outside and let her scream her anger out to the world. She had so much built up in her, and it scares me to know how long she’s been letting it pile on her shoulders without telling you or anyone else.”

I drop my head back to her chest and let out a sigh. “My girl’s ate shit for so long, Lee. Should’ve pulled her outta her mama’s life a while ago, but I could see the hope she carried inside that her mama would one day love her the way she needed to be loved by her. I was failin’ her long before Heather did.”

Bailee tugs my head back lightly again so I have to peer up into her fierce face. “Stop. You’ve done the best you could at protecting her. You were trying to give her the one thing you knew she desperately wanted. Yes, it blew up in the end and left Lyric struggling to comprehend a lot of shit about her mom. That girl has so much love in her. And do you know where she gets that from? Not her mama. That’s all you, bossman.”

“You’re good with her. Don’t know if I told you that or not. You give her something she was searchin’ for inside a broken woman. You show her what unconditional love is, and I don’t think I could ever repay you for the way you make her smile and laugh.”

“It’s not something I’d ever want to be compensated for anyway. When I call her my heart song, that’s because it’s what she is. She didn’t have to be my blood for me to fall completely in love with her.”

“Want something honest?” I ask.

“It’s all I’ll ever want from you.”

“Wasn’t sure you’d be able to love her.”

It’s one of the darker thoughts I had, and it worries me now that it’s been said out loud.

Bailee’s brows clench together, and the astonishment in her eyes makes me feel like an idiot for even thinking that of her.

“Why in the world would you think that?”

“Because. I know we weren’t exclusive or even talked about it. Hell, I hadn’t even fucked her for about a month before me and you started our thing back then. But I know you findin’ out that I was havin’ a kid with her hurt you.”

“Of course, it hurt me, but Jericho, I’d never take that out on an innocent child. She played no part in how or when she was conceived. Did it make it seriously freaking hard for me at first? Absolutely. I wouldn’t be human if it didn’t. But I was so naïve and looking for love in the wrong place. I let you string me along because I loved you stupid. That wasn’t your problem, though, it was mine. You never made promises to me.”

“Could’ve stayed the fuck away instead of comin’ back anytime me and Heather split up. Only added to your pain doing that.”

“You did, and yeah, you could have. But I also could’ve turned you away. Will you be honest about something else with me?”

“‘Course I will.”

“Was there ever a time you were with me and her at the same time? Like, were you in an active relationship with her any of those times you came to me?”

“Fuck no. Wouldn’t do that to you. Hell, wouldn’t do it to either of you, no matter how many men she was fuckin’ behind my back. I may have been a toxic asshole back then with you, but I wasn’t so immoral that I’d fuck around on someone I was in a relationship with.”

Bailee drops her forehead to mine and closes her eyes. “Then there’s nothing about our past that can’t be forgiven. You didn’t cheat, at least not from my viewpoint. You fucked with me hard without plans for a future, but that’s about it.”

“Did care about you then, Hummingbird. Need you to know that.”

“I do know it. I knew it then too. You did what needed to be done for your girl. As much as I did for a long time, I’d never actually fault you for that.”

“You needed someone to aim your pain at. Me bein’ in the crosshairs was understandable.”

My eyes fall closed as exhaustion weighs heavily on my shoulders.

“Come on, bossman. Let’s get you in bed. Thankfully, our Princess is already sound asleep, so she doesn’t have to see you like this tonight and be mad at her uncles. We’ll figure out what to tell her tomorrow.”

“The truth,” I murmur. “I always do.”

“Then we’ll tell her the truth,” she agrees, helping me to my feet and guiding me out of the kitchen.

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