Page 33 of Edge of Forever

“Do what feels right,” he says gently. “If you don’t want to go, then don’t. Don’t let anyone—not Lexi, not Sasha, and definitely not me—talk you into doing something you don’t truly want to do. By the same token, don’t let your sister guilt you out of it if this is something youdowant to do.”

“Why does life have to be so complicated?”

“It’s not. Follow your heart and be true to yourself.”

“That means going on tour,” I whisper, moving into his arms. “But it also means letting a lot of people down.”

“Do you want to let yourself down?”

“No. I definitely do not.”

“Talk to your sister. She loves you and wants you to be happy. Remember that.”

“I know.” I burrow against his chest for a few minutes, soaking in his warmth and strength and support, and eventually pull myself away. “I guess I have to go. I need to talk to Sydney and figure some stuff out. Will I see you later?”

“If you want to.” He meets my eyes questioningly.

“That’s never a question.” I press my lips to his. “Come over whenever you’re done for the day. If you won’t be there for dinner, just text me.”

“Don’t stress about anything, okay?” He runs his fingers along my cheek. “Everything is going to work out the way it’s supposed to.”

I want to believe him, but all I can think about as I drive home is what Sydney will think and how hurt she’ll be.

All I’m worried about as I let myself into the house is everything she gave up to take care of us when Mom and Dad faked their deaths.

She had to quit college and get a full-time job. Hell, she worked two full-time jobs once we got into a routine where I could take care of the boys. She worked at a law firm as a legalsecretary all day and then waited tables four or five nights a week.

She sacrificed so much and has never asked for anything.

Except this.

“Back already?” She looks up from where she’s changing the baby’s diaper.

“I need to talk to you,” I say, plopping down on the couch next to her.

“What’s up?” She seems curious.

There’s no point in beating around the bush.

“Lexi wants me to spend as much of the summer as I can on tour with Nobody’s Fool, so I can be prepared in case the pregnancy prevents her from performing,” I blurt.

Sydney doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, putting a clean diaper on Poppy and then lifting her onto her lap.

“How will that impact leaving for college?” she asks quietly.

“I’d still be there for orientation,” I say quickly. “This is like an extended rehearsal… in case something happens later in her pregnancy and I need to step in.”

“But later in the pregnancy is when you’ll be in school,” she says.

“I know, but—” I cut myself off.

How can I explain how I feel?

“What’s going on?” Sydney asks, bouncing Poppy on her knee. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

That might take a year, but I have to try.

“They want me to go on tour between now and when school starts. And I really want to do it. I know it’s not what we planned but this is part of what I want for my future. Except I also don’t want to miss out on all the things we’re supposed to do… shopping and planning for college and all the things we’ve been talking about.” I look down, suddenly overwhelmed all over again.

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