Page 25 of Edge of Forever

“Sam!” I stare at him, even though he’s watching the road.

“You can’t just have been with me your whole life. Not with what you have ahead of you.”

“Why not? You hear stories of tons of people who marry their first everything and are together forever. True love and all that.”

“No, you really don’t. I mean, yes, you do hear stories like that, but you also hear the ones about those marriages ending in divorce. Fifty percent of them. That’s a fact. Half of all marriages end in divorce. Obviously, I have no statistics on whether or not they slept with other people or what the other circumstances are. That’s not my point.

“My point is that I don’t want you to be at a party, meet an interesting guy, and have to say no. Or worse, give in for a minute, and then beat yourself up for months because you feel guilty about cheating on me. I don’t want that for you.”

“And I’m guessing you don’t want it for yourself either,” I respond dryly.

“See, that’s the difference. I’vedoneit. Hundreds of times. I have no lack of experience in dating and sexual encounters. I’ve done all the things. I can wait. But I don’t think you should.”

“That sounds like you want to end things,” I mutter.

“Actually, I don’t. I want the opposite. I want to drive straight to a chapel and elope. Right this minute.”

TEN

Sam

That might have beena slight exaggeration, but only a little.

I’m serious about her and about us.

I wasn’t lying about wanting her to enjoy the college experience, to go into it with an open mind. Yes, the thought of her being with another guy is enough to make me want to punch things, but that’s not fair to her. She’s not even out of high school yet, and I’m ready to make her mine.

That feels selfish as fuck.

I just don’t know how to make her understand it’s not because I want the freedom to fool around. That’s not who I am, and I hope she knows that.

“Are you… serious right now?”

“Yes and no. Yes, I can see us married someday. But I don’t want to elope. I would if I thought you were ready and that’s what you wanted too, but come on—don’t tell me you don’t have dreams of the big wedding, the dress, all the bells and whistles.”

“Absolutely.”

“I guess what I was trying to convey is that I’m serious about us, Kirsten, but I’m trying really hard not to be selfish.”

“How is wanting what I want selfish?”

I sigh.

I can’t grow her up any faster.

Nothing I say will convince her that she needs to experience more in this world than just me. That no matter how she thinks she feels, that could change tomorrow, next week, or a year from now.

Although, to be fair, it’s the same for me.

Except I don’t think so because I’ve had enough girlfriends to know what I want. And what I don’t want.

“Tell me what you want out of our relationship,” I say carefully.

“How can I know that?” she asks. “I want to be together. I like you. I’ve been crazy about you since the first time we met. And I’m not like other eighteen-year-olds. I think that’s what you’re forgetting. After what my parents did? I mean, they pretended to die so they could be child-free and live on an island in the South Pacific. I wasn’t quite fifteen. Sydney had to work two jobs to feed us and keep a roof over our heads. I would come home from school and take care of the babies, do my homework, and make dinner.

“Just over a year later I recorded a hit single with the biggest rock band in the world and made hundreds of thousands of dollars. I’m rich, successful, and finally legal. I don’t think it’s fair to compare me to other teenagers.”

“You’re right,” I admit carefully. “That’s partly why we’re together at all. I know you’re not like other girls your age. But I also know you’ve been pretty sheltered thanks to Sydney, Ford, and Kingston. They’ve protected you from a lot of what’s ugly in the world.”

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