Page 104 of I Knew You Were Trouble

‘Ah, he was grounded, yes.’

‘Right –grounded.’

‘And I’m assuming it never got sent to your grandparents?’

‘No, but when I was renovating, I found it in a box of my old schoolwork.’

‘What? Your mum kept it?’

‘Apparently, and when I showed Ady, we laughedsohard – for at least five minutes.’

The idea of stoic, measured Willem laughing that freely is endearing.

‘Well, thatisa good story – top-notch parenting by your mum.’

He smiles. ‘I think you will like her. I’m sure she will like you.’

His use of future tense yanks me back to the present – for Willem too, I can tell. He’s quiet for a moment, then he reaches for my hand. I let him take it, even though handholding meansfarmore than I’m prepared to examine right now.

‘Kate, I want to ask you…’ He pauses, his gaze fixed on the seatback in front of him, then he turns towards me. ‘Howdid you end up with Dunn?’

‘Oh…’ I look away, then puff out my cheeks. Ordinarily, I’m good at formulating succinct answers, but this isn’t a Monday-morning standup. This is my topsy-turvy love life and I’m not sure I evenwantto answer.

But there’s a minute possibility that this thing between me and Willem could turn into something more, so I want to be truthful. I owe that to both of us.

‘Well,’ I say, glancing at him, ‘in my twenties – and way further into my thirties than I care to admit – I fell for blokes who were emotionally unavailable, and I would mould myself into what I thought they wanted.’ Uncomfortable, I look away, focusing on the emergency evacuation card in the seat pocket. ‘And just over four years ago, after a rather ugly breakup, I finally understood what I’d been doing and I self-imposed a moratorium on men, which went on for a long time –years. And to be completely truthful, I felt lonely sometimes.’

I inhale deeply, then steady my breath.

‘Anyway, around six months ago, I was talking with a colleague – she’d just invited me to her wedding – and she told me that she and her husband-to-be had met through a matchmaker. I was intrigued and she offered to refer me, which after a couple of weeks of contemplation, I agreed to. But of course’ – I point to myself with both forefingers – ‘pragmatist that I am,Istupidly thought, “What’s better thanonematchmaker? Two!” and I signed on with a second agency, the one that matched me with Jon. The rest you know.’

He runs his thumb along the back of my hand, then gives it a squeeze.

‘Thank you for telling me,’ he says, and I look over again. We share a smile, then lapse into silence, and I turn and stare out the window as we descend into Amsterdam.

* * *

I’m overcome with nerves when the cab turns down Willem’s road. Understandable, considering Adriana’s lukewarm response when Willem told her I was coming to Amsterdam –andthat Lucia would be joining us.

Even though Adriana and I seem to get along well enough, I’ve never expected us to become lifelong friends. But we’re both invested in Jon getting his comeuppance and I’d like to think we’re on the same side.

It could be that we’re simply processing this differently. From what I can tell, Adriana is either holing up at home, miserable, or going out on the town with her girlfriends, drowning her sorrows.

Whereas I’ve skipped two full stages of grief – bargaining and depression – and have gone straight from anger to acceptance. I have no doubt it’s because of Willem, but is he simply a diversionary tactic or are my feelings for him – as muddy as they are – real?

And maybe Adriana’s reaction has nothing to do with me at all. Well, I’m about to find out.

The cab pulls up outside Willem’s house and while I pay, he gets our cases from the boot. Then it’s just us, standing outside his front door.

‘Is everything all right? You look a little…’

‘Freaked out?’ I ask, breaking into a nervous grin.

‘Yes.’

He stares at me while I go back and forth on being honest or brushing my feelings under the carpet. But before I can decide, the front door flies open and Adriana fills the doorway. Is this her idea of a welcome or is she acting as a human barricade? She says something to Willem in Dutch, then her eyes land on me.

‘Hi, Kate,’ she says, her expression unreadable.

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