Page 141 of Frozen Flames

“I see.” He bends his knee over his other leg. “And when she got the new job, how was that?”

“That’s when everything changed. She fell for someone else.”

“How did you feel about her starting the job in the first place?”

I sigh. “I was happy for her. It’s what she wanted. I was anxious too, wondering how it would affect us.”

“Understandable. It’s a big change.”

“It was more than a change. It felt like she was moving forward, and I was just stuck—in my room, in my wheelchair. She probably felt it though,” I mutter. “I should’ve been more encouraging after everything she had done for me.”

“Perhaps she felt it,” he agrees. “Maybe she even understood where you were coming from.”

“Yeah.” I clear my throat. “I never realized how much I was indirectly blaming her.”

“It’s hard to lead a life free of pain with others when you’re still anchored to it.”

I chuckle. “It does feel like drowning at times. Still, the accident was a hit-and-run, and I barely directed my energy toward the bastard.”

“Gemma was there, and unfortunately, both of your roles in the relationship shifted afterward,” he affirms.

“I was worried she’d grow to resent me. That’s what stung the most. I resented my new life, and I couldn’t get why she’d stay with me. I thought, way more often than I care to admit, she was with me out of…obligation.”

He nods. “Staying with you was her decision to make.”

“Yeah, well, I pushed her away, to free her of me.”

“An assumption that you strongly believed, yet that doesn’t mean that’s how she felt.” His eyes dart to the side, as if gathering his thoughts. “Tell me, Harvey, what was different with Claire? Why didn’t you think she feltobligatedto love you?”

“Well…” I swallow. I don’t like talking about Claire in the past tense as if she’s not a part of my life. “I was already paralyzed when we met. And she fell for me that way.”

“Therefore, you felt more accepted.”

I nod.

The session was both freeing and weighed heavily on me the rest of the week.

It made me realize that both Gemma and I were growing into different people, and the new people we were becoming weren’t a match anymore. I’m still wounded by her actions, but I’m starting to see and understand where she was coming from as well.

It doesn’t lessen the hurt, just the anger. And I’m willing to put it aside to live my own life, since I don’t want to be anchored to pain forever.

Surprisingly, the weeks are flying by. We’re already in May, and this week at work, I maneuvered around my station out of my wheelchair to do certain things—when I had no clients, of course.

I’m hanging out with Henrik now, sitting on a chair on the deck in the backyard, my wheelchair next to me, and it feels mighty great.

I worked today, and I nailed the tattoo.

Training was amazing.

And now the sun’s beaming down on our faces as we each have a beer in hand.

I’m especially happy that I don’t have therapy this week. Dr. Lee’s on vacation—hence giving me some time off from those buzzing afterthoughts.

“Life isgood.” Hen exhales happily as he tilts his head back in his chair. He finished his last year of college along with his final exams. I don’t blame him for enjoying this before he starts full-time work at our dad’s construction company, helping with the business side of things.

For the first time in a long time, I’m…happy. I never thought this could happen to me, especially not without Claire or Gemma.

I always felt enslaved by my depression and thought being alone would make it worse. While I do feel it on some days, most of the time, if I can keep busy enough, it helps keep the bad thoughts at bay.

---