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“No?” My question is barely a whisper.

“No,” he responds on a sigh. “I don’t. There are just a lot of emotions to unpack. Seeing you again. You know? I’m not sure exactly how I’m feeling or what I want. All I simply know is I want you here.”

“We should start by talking, I guess.”

“I agree.” He pulls me toward the bedroom.

“I thought you agreed?” I question our move toward his bedroom.

“I do.” His voice low. He turns, piercing me with his gaze, making me hot all over. “I just really want to hold you.”

The emotion behind his words is powerful, making my heart still. “I want that, too.”

Inside his room, I stare as he removes his socks, shirt, and jeans, leaving just his boxers. My heart picks up speed, beating rapidly. My heated gaze travels the length of his body, soaking him up.

He chuckles. “You can stop that right now.” He purses his lips. “We’re keeping this PG.”

“Okay,” I scoff and remove everything but my bra and panties. “If you say so.”

He climbs into bed, sliding under the covers, and I follow. Wrapping his arm around me, he pulls me close. “I’ve missed you,” he says, trailing his fingertips across my skin.

Wrapping my legs with his, I press my body against him, loving the way his skin feels against mine. I splay my palms against his muscular back. “I’ve missed you, too.”

“So tell me what you’ve been up to down South. I want to hear it all.”

“It’s a lot.” I grin.

“We have all night. Don’t leave out any of the details. I especially want to know what you’ve been doing to pass the time without partying.” He tucks a lock of my hair that hasn’t fallen in front of my face, behind my ear, the gesture so sweet.

I realize now that he’s afraid. He wants me to reassure him. He wants to know that he’s not going to come home to find me in a puddle of my own puke and blood again.

“I know you grew up surrounded by addicts, but I promise you, I’m not one. I’m just a girl who’s a little lost. I’ve used partying as an escape from reality. It’s unsettling as an adult when you have no direction. I felt broken and couldn’t figure out why. So I avoided responsibility altogether. But meeting you changed me. Regardless of what happens between us, I don’t want to be the person I was. I want to be a better version. I want to be worthy of someone like you, someone who has his shit together.”

He supplies a hesitant grin. I bring my hand to his face and cup his cheek. “I’m serious. I know we were like this extended one-night stand, but to me, it was incredible. I’d never felt about anyone the way I felt about you.”

“It was the same for me.” His declaration causes chills to shoot throughout my body. “So what else?”

We talk for hours. I tell him about my heart-to-heart with Mom, my ill-fated attempt at a new career, and the realization that there’s very little keeping me in Florida. He talks about the fire that broke Pauly’s legs and the impact it’s had. He smiles when he updates me on his mom and sister and when he revisits the drama of firehouse twelve over the past several months.

It’s good.

Normal.

We hold one another and simply converse. It’s not what I thought would happen when he initially invited me over. I’m quite certain it’s not what he thought would transpire, either. But I think it’s what we both needed.

Just being near him fills my soul, giving me exactly what I need. All the questions and doubts that have plagued me since I left Chicago months ago have vanished, at least for now. In his arms, I feel whole. I’m at home. I’ve been trying to find my way in this world when the reality is—I already found him.

I just hope he lets me stay.

CHAPTER18

BOSS

I’ve held her all night, and I don’t want to let her go. Her breaths are even as she lays against my chest in slumber. The fruity scent wafting from her hair is incredibly intoxicating. It hasn’t been a full day since she came back into my life, yet I want her to stay.

All the indescribable anxiety and feelings of unease that plagued me over the past months have vanished. I was missing her all along. I was just too proud—too stubborn—to admit it. I didn’t get where I am or avoid the pre-destined fate my brothers had set out for me by giving in.

Since I was young, I knew what I wanted, and more aptly, what I didn’t want, and I’ve lived my life accordingly. Lexi broke the rules that I’d given to myself years ago. Drugs are a hard limit, an immediate dead stop. Holding her now, I’m afraid. Terrified.

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