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“Hey, are you okay?” Julie questions me.

I shake my head, clearing my thoughts. “Yeah. Just a weird day.”A weird lifetime.

“Tell me about it,” she says.

“Well, I was taking classes to become an EMT…”

My words halt when Jules starts laughing. “Seriously? You hate blood.”

I shrug. “I know. I realize that now.”

“Why on earth did you think that was the path for you?”

I raise my shoulders and let them fall. “I have no idea. The truth is, I don’t know what to do with my life.”

“Join the club, sister.”

“You know I saw Cam up in Chicago a couple of months back,” I say.

“That’s right. How is she? I haven’t spoken to her since…gosh, I guess it was the summer after graduation.”

“She’s good. I guess.”

Julie nods. “She was always the one destined to go places.”

River slides off Julie’s lap and starts chanting something that sounds like ‘ho-ho’ while pulling on Julie’s hand.

“Okay, but Mommy can only do horse for a minute. It hurts my back.” Julie rolls off the couch and positions herself on her hands and knees.

Shadow and River emit high-pitched giggles as they climb onto her back. Julie’s round belly hangs so low, it almost touches the ground as she crawls around the carpet neighing with the two gremlins on her back.

I spring up from the sofa. “Um, I gotta go.”

“Okay, bye!” Julie says from the ground. “It was good seeing you.”

“Yeah, good luck with everything,” I offer as I race up the stairs.

Before I’ve completely escaped, Julie yells, “I said don’t hit,” followed by more screaming.

I quickly close the basement door and run out of the Higgins’ Home.

As I drive the short distance from her parents’ house to my own parents’ home, I realize that there’s nothing for me here.

I have no job. No interests. No prospects. No relationship. No friends. No future.

I only have my parents, but that alone isn’t enough.

Something has to give.

CHAPTER14

BOSS

Hand behind my head, arm atop my pillow, I stare at the ceiling. Once again, quality sleep evaded me. I’m in a funk that I can’t seem to escape.

It’s been six weeks since Pauly’s accident, and I still can’t get it out of my mind. When entering this career, the fact that someone I know will die on the job at some point was a very real possibility.

Firefighters die. It’s just the reality.

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