Page 13 of Eternally London

“Yeah?” I place the last dish in the dishwasher before closing it.

“Yeah, I mean, obviously, I was named after the city I was conceived in. You were adopted by parents who had the same last name as the city you were found in. It’s worked for us, right?”

“You do realize that, if you’re pregnant right now, the baby was conceived in Georgia. If it’s a girl, you want to name her after your sister?”

London laughs with a shake of her head. “God, no. One Georgia in my life is enough. We could name her Savannah though.”

I nod thoughtfully. “I like that. And if it’s a boy?”

“Um…Sav?” London crinkles her brow. “George? I don’t know. We’ll have to think on that.”

“Okay,” I say with a laugh.

“Loïc?” Sarah’s hesitant voice comes from behind us.

“Hey, what’s up?” I turn to her.

“Do you think we could talk?” she asks, wearing a mask of self-doubt and worry.

“Of course,” I say with a gentle smile.

“You know, I was just going to go take a shower. Wash the airplane cooties off of me. Where are we staying?” London asks Sarah, gracefully excusing herself.

“The guest bedroom. Down the hall, first room on the right. You can’t miss it. It’s the one with original orange-and-gold wallpaper from, like, the 1800s,” Sarah says with a roll of her eyes. “We haven’t gotten around to redoing that room yet.”

“Okay, sounds good,” London says with a smile before exiting the kitchen.

“Want to go outside?” Sarah asks.

“Sure.”

I follow her out to the deck, sitting next to her on the porch swing. “Why the solemn face?” I ask.

She grabs my hand, entwining her fingers with mine. “Am I doing the right thing? Getting married? I mean, it’s tomorrow, and I’m freaking out a little. I’m getting married”—her voice drops to a whisper—“and not to you. It’s not that I’m still pining over you or anything. Yet, at the same time, growing up, every time I pictured my adult life, you were in it. We were partners, you know?”

I squeeze her hand in mine. “Oh, Sarah. I am in your life. Do you love him? Are you happy?”

“Yes, very much. I’m so happy. It’s like my dreams are coming true, yet it just makes me so confused that I’m having doubts.”

“Maybe you’re confusing doubts with nerves. It’s normal to be nervous. Tell me why you love him.”

She lets out a sigh. “Well, he’s handsome and kind. He’s funny. He treats me like a princess. He loves Evan as his own. He’s patient with me. You know how I can be.” She lets out a dry chuckle. “He gets me. It’s like he doesn’t let me spiral out of control.”

“He sounds perfect for you and Evan.”

“He is, and that’s why I don’t understand why I’m feeling this way. I’m living my dream life, but it’s not with you, and I don’t know how to process that. He usually talks me through any negative thoughts, but I can’t talk to him about this. Can you imagine how much that’d hurt him? Knowing that I’m marrying him tomorrow, but I still love you.” Tears roll down her cheeks. “And I know you don’t love me like that. God, you’re married, and you’re happy. Why can’t I be happy?”

I release my grasp on her hand and pull her into my side, hugging her tight. My chest aches for her. So much time has passed. She’s a whole world away from that little girl who was abused, homeless, and traumatized. Yet, all these years later, she’s the same girl.

“Sarah, you don’t love me like that either. It’s okay to love me. You always will, and I’ll always love you. We’re family. What you feel for Dixon isn’t the same. You don’t have to feel guilty. He knows your feelings for me, and he understands them.”

I move back slightly so that I can see her face. Placing my hand beneath her chin, I tilt her tear-stained face up to meet mine. “Look at me,” I say gently. “You’re going to be okay. You deserve happiness. You deserve someone who loves you the way Dixon does.”

She shakes her head with a frown before resting it against my shoulder. “I don’t know why he loves me. I’ll always be a mess. It’s like, no matter how hard I try to run from my past, I can never escape it. The painful memories haunt me. You’re the only one who understands.”

“That’s not true. The reason Dixon is so perfect for you is because he understands trauma. He lives it every single day. Hell, if it weren’t for him…I probably wouldn’t be here, Sarah. He can help you. He gets it. He’s more of a gift to you than you’ll ever know.”

“You think?” Her voice is laced with hope.

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