Page 14 of Eternally London

“I know, Sarah. Dixon loves you because he can look past the hurt that weighs you down. He can see the Sarah that I do—the one who loves with everything she has. He sees you, and that’s why he loves you. Don’t let your past and doubts control your life anymore. You’re doing so well. You’re happy, and though the demons inside you want to tell you that you’re not worthy of it all, you need to know that you are.”

“It’s just so hard,” she says through sniffles. “I can’t forget the past. Just when things start to get really good, the darkness sucks me in, rendering me incapable of holding on to joy.”

“You can’t let it, Sarah. What you went through wasn’t your fault. The drugs that followed weren’t either.”

She lets out a huff of disagreement, her feet kicking back and forth in time with the swing.

“It wasn’t. You were a child, Sarah—one who had no positive role models or guidance, one who was in an immense amount of pain. It’s difficult enough for children to make the right decisions, but without the proper tools, it’s almost impossible. None of it was your fault. You did the best you could with the hand you were dealt.”

We rock in silence for a few minutes. The sounds of the neighborhood surround us—distant voices, cars passing on the street, the hustle and bustle of life. Yet we don’t hear any of it, our thoughts consumed with the past.

Eventually, I break the silence. “You know what I’ve realized? We wear scars from our past, some deeper than others. Some are visible, and some aren’t. Yet they all serve to remind us that we made it. We fought. We survived. We’ve earned the right to live with joy in our hearts. Don’t let the past define you; let it fuel you. You didn’t have a choice when you were a child, but you do now. Choose to allow the light in. You’re worth it. Evan is worth it. The baby in your belly is worth it. Happiness is worth the fight.”

Sarah releases a long breath. “I know. You’re right. I knew you’d know what to say. I can’t keep sabotaging everything good in my life.”

“No, you can’t,” I agree. “When you feel like you’re going to, talk to Dixon. He’ll be able to help you.”

“I really did get lucky with him, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did. And he did, too. You’re an incredible person, Sarah,” I say truthfully.

“Thank you for being here. This weekend wouldn’t have been the same without you.” She wraps her arms around my middle and hugs me.

I hug her back. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else. You know that.”

“So, back to baby names,” she says with a chuckle, breaking the heavy mood.

I throw my head back with a laugh. “And, with that…I’m calling it a night.”

“You sure? I have lots of new ones I can run by you,” she kids as we stand from the swing.

“Oh, I’m sure.” I grin.

We enter the house before stopping in front of the guest bedroom, and I pull Sarah into a hug. “See you in the morning, beautiful.”

“Sweet dreams, Loïc. I love you.”

“Love you, too. Get some sleep.” I kiss her on the forehead.

I release her and step back. A thoughtful glance is exchanged before Sarah heads down the hall to her room. Our stare connected for only a moment, but in that small space of time, I saw what I needed to see—her big blue eyes full of hope. I sigh with relief before opening the bedroom door.

Hope is the catalyst for happiness. The first step to a future void of torment is to allow one’s heart to be open and vulnerable to trust.

London

“The thing about destiny is that it doesn’t have to make sense; it simply is. It’s real and true and unbreakable.”

—London Berkeley

I take a step back, admiring my work. It smells like the Garden of Eden beneath this white party tent, and the view is simply breathtaking. The backyard has been transformed into a picturesque oasis. Each table is adorned with a beautiful vase of flowers. The poles holding the tent up are wrapped in strands of white roses. Ornate vases exploding with blooms start the beginning of each row of white chairs that face the altar—a trellis of floral perfection.

Months ago, when planning for this date with Sarah, she stated that she wanted a quaint, low-cost backyard wedding. When I asked her what kinds of flowers she wanted, she suggested skipping flowers because of the cost. I offered to supply the flowers as part of our gift because they bring such a soft, romantic element to a wedding.

Sarah didn’t have a favorite, so I ordered them all. If a flower comes in pink or white, it’s in this backyard. Looking around, some might say I went overboard, but I say I accomplished something magical. Everywhere you look, you’re surrounded by gorgeous blooms.

When Sarah steps off the deck in just a couple of hours, she’s going to feel like a princess. I want her to have that. I want this to be one of the happiest days of her life, one that signifies the beginning of something great—the part of her journey where there’s only joy and no pain.

Sarah has never been my favorite person in the world. That’s no secret. Yet my ill feelings toward her in the past stemmed from jealousy and insecurity where Loïc was concerned. It’s taken time and help from Loïc, but I’ve let all of my negativity toward Sarah go.

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