Page 43 of Saul

“Starting tomorrow, you’re going to wear a plug for an hour.” I nearly sobbed. I was desperate to be filled. Being empty hurt. But then he slipped a lubed finger inside me at the same time as his mouth crashed down on mine and I was gone. Pleasure—such a physical thing with Daddy—burned through my body and set every cell on fire, but as I gasped and writhed my release, I knew I was safe. Daddy held me through each shockwave. Held me tight. Held me safe. Made me believe he would never let go.

And when he rose above me and painted me with his release, I wanted everything. I felt marked and claimed, and when we collapsed in a sticky mess, I didn’t care.

Daddy chuckled. “Think we both need a bath now.”

Chapter twenty

Saul

Two days later, Calvin started dancing around me in some sort of avoidance tactic.And I didn’t know why.It was like he was a different person during the day than he was in bed and that made no sense. In bed he was 100% my boy, but it was as if he switched it off and becamecareful. I could almost see the wall go up around him, and I didn’t know how to bring it down.

He’d been entranced at his craft supplies, giddy and excited, but the following morning he’d carefully packed them back in the box for “safety,” which was completely nuts as they were bought to be used. Yesterday, he hadn’t even looked at the box.

In my head I wondered if he was ashamed of either himself or both of us, and it was at that point in navigating our relationship and failing miserably that I got the email from Emily Christian.

It was via Ricky, as she didn’t have my personal one, but what was significant was that it was toRent-A-Daddy, which meant Calvin saw it as well, and never said a word.

I stared at it.

Hi, Daddy Saul,

I have to go to a two-day Harvard symposium. I know it will be incredibly boring for you but putting my dad through that isn’t really going to work. It’s very last minute. Well, it isn’t, but I never thought I would be able to get the courage to go, so I left it until after I’d met you. And look at me being all honest! It’s next weekend. I understand if it’s too short notice. Hoping you are well.

Emily and Marmy

I stared at the email even when I felt Calvin come up behind me. He’d just crawled out of bed and wasn’t due at work today. I knew Ricky had told us to take the week off but after spending yesterday watching Calvin clean like his life depended on it, I’d taken myself into the garage that seemed to hold forty years of my late grandfather’s life and sorted that until I was too exhausted to move.

I was pretty sure a good third was precious to my grandmother, but as we’d never met, I was struggling. I didn’t want to just toss her life away as if it meant nothing, but Calvin had shown no interest in helping, so I’d spent the day in there on my own.

I held up my phone with the email visible. “What do you think?” I asked cautiously.

Calvin stayed very still for a few heartbeats. “She seems nice. She gave us an incredible review we have permission to use online.”

I turned to look at him, but he’d already turned away and in a fit of frustration I said, “So you have no problem with me being Emily’s Daddy?”

He just shrugged, and I had trouble containing my temper. I’d thought we were good, but it was almost like…he was testing me. Wait, was that it? Was I beinginterviewed? Running out of ideas, I texted Ricky and asked if we could meet. I added that I had no problem with Chris being there.

“I take it you saw the email,” Ricky said, handing me my coffee.

“I thought we were good, or at least getting there,” I said. Ricky passed Chris his. I was lucky it was a Saturday, and I’d just said I had an errand to run the next morning, and Calvin should sleep in. “But it’s like he’s withdrawing again.” I hated this. Felt like such a failure, but I was desperate. I knew I was losing him, and no matter how good the sex was, I wanted all of him. I wanted to be Daddy in his head, and I knew that was where I had the biggest battle.

“It’s still new,” Chris offered.

“So why does it feel like I’m going backwards?”

Ricky glanced at Chris. “He won’t talk to me about it.” Then he turned my way. “What did he say about the email?”

“I asked him what he thought.” And I remembered the careless shrug. Ricky gaped and Chris just about choked on his coffee. I looked up. “What?”

“You asked him what hethought?” Ricky squeaked out.

I squirmed. “Well, yeah.”

“Why didn’t you just say you had no intention of going with the client and that Calvin was the only boy you were ever going to be a Daddy for?” Ricky asked me, completely aghast.

I blinked. “I thought he’d say—”

“Oh no,” Ricky snapped. “That wasn’t his decision. If you’re truly his Daddy, then you would know that.” He threw his hands up. “I had so much faith in you, and I’m so disappointed.” Muttering, he stalked from the room, and I looked at Chris for help.

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