Page 44 of Saul

“You think he’s testing you and losing faith?”

I nodded.

Chris leaned forward. “But isn’t that what you’re doing to him?”

“What?” I asked, aghast.

“I’m betting you haven’t set the punishment rules up.”

“I—” No, no I hadn’t. I’d been pussyfooting around him and biting my tongue. I’d told him I was going to, but I hadn’t. It was no wonder he was losing faith in me. “I need a good slap.”

Chris grinned. “If it’s any consolation, Ricky and I met in a baptism of fire, but this is all new to you. Unfortunately, Littles are really vulnerable, even more so the ones that are subs. Ricky isn’t submissive at all, but I have a feeling Calvin is and he’s desperately looking for a safe place to land.”

“I really screwed up again,” I admitted. How did I keep getting this so wrong?

“So are you straight?” Chris asked, smirking. I ignored the question.

“I might have more questions.” Plus, I had an email to write to Ricky. In fact, bluntly, the likelihood of them getting a new Daddy with only five days’ notice was zero. What needed to happen was for Calvin to accompany me. I had a feeling Emily would really like him, and Calvin would love meeting her. They both needed friends. I eyed Chris. “How good are you at gettingextra tickets to this Harvard thing, and are you busy next weekend?” Ricky would take Emily under his wing. Win-win.

Calvin

I gazed at my craft supplies after I’d showered and dressed in regular boring clothes, utterly desperate to get them out, but knowing I needed to keep a lid on everything. If I was going to lose Daddy then I would need to move in with Ricky, so it made sense to keep everything packed. I heard the car and glanced out of the window at the deep green Nissan I recognized, and my heart dropped.Steven.How the hell had he found me? And why wouldn’t he just leave me alone? I watched out of sight as he climbed from the car and glanced down at a piece of paper, then started walking down the driveway.

There was no way I was opening the door. I’d learned my lesson last time. But then, heart in my mouth, I saw Daddy’s silver truck pass Steven’s car and pull into the driveway.

Well, shit. Now what?

Steven faltered when he saw Daddy’s truck, but then he sprinted down the driveway, and raised his fist to the door. I heard the pounding but stayed frozen for a second, then moved. Steven and Daddy would be able to see me through the glass panels.

“Calvin,” Steven’s eyes lit up. “Thank fuck I found you. I wanted to apologize. Splitting up made my head so messed up, but I’m so sorry. I want you back.”

“The trouble is,” Daddy drawled, getting out of his truck and leaning against it. “That you never wanted Calvin in the first place.” He had his keys, but didn’t attempt to open the door.

“Of course I wanted him,” Steven protested.

“No,” Daddy said calmly, not moving. “You wanted a version of him that doesn’t exist.” Daddy met my startled gaze. “And I was almost guilty of the same thing. I saw Calvin. I just didn’t see myself.” He pushed himself away from the truck and stalked to the door, his gray green eyes on me the whole time. “Let me in, baby,”

And I knew he wasn’t just asking me to open the door. He had his own keys to his own house…maybe our house. He was asking for so much more. I moved and undid the latch, opening the door, and Steven rushed in, squawking, but it was all just noise. I only had eyes for one man.

“Are you listening to me?” Steven demanded.

“No,” I said honestly, turning to him. “You not really seeing me was my fault. I learned some painful lessons growing up about hiding, but that aside, you hurt me and I still have the bruises. That alone means we are done.”

“But—”

“As far as I see it,” Daddy said, stepping onto the porch and drawing me close, then turning to Steven. “You have two choices. One, you can leave now and know that if you swear never to attempt to see or contact Calvin again, I will allow you to leave with your dignity intact, or two, you can make a preemptive call to 911, because you’re going to need an EMT to scrape what’s left of you off the sidewalk.”

“How dare you!” Steven shrilled. “You work for my brother. You really think you’ll have a job if you lay your hands on me?”

“If I’m lucky,” Chris drawled, jumping out of his truck, which had pulled up behind Steven’s car without me noticing. “I got your text,” he said, looking at Steven. “And as I told you, Ihave no idea why you would think a family connection excuses outright assault on Calvin. I only rushed over here to make sure Saul had a witness to laying out your sorry ass. Oh, and word to the wise, First-Sergeant Saul O’Connell has dealt with raw recruits facing RPGs—that’s a rocket-propelled grenade, not a video game—and insurgents intent on killing our asses with IEDs for over twenty years.” He looked at Saul. “You’re gonna tell me facing recruits was scarier, aren’t you?”

Daddy snorted. “Nah, breaking in newly commissioned second lieutenants was way worse.” They shared a smile that made me want to tear up, and I plastered myself to Daddy’s side.

“Calvin, please tell me you don’t agree with this maniac. He’s a bully—”

“Are you kidding me?” I jumped in. I hated confrontation and could feel myself trembling, but Daddy’s arm kept me safe and steady. “I still have the bruises from you.”

“You fell—”

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