“My thief, I want a future with you, for you have stolen my body, mind, and heart.” I kissed his ear; thankful he couldn’t see the blush coloring my cheeks as I finally admitted the desire that had been growing inside me for weeks. “My parents often avoided me when I lived in their home, and I never played with my siblings. I used to observe them in the courtyard from my window, longing to join them, but it was forbidden. If I fell and scarred my skin, I would be unworthy of Hreinasta. If my brothers accidentally touched me while passing me the ball, I would be tainted. Do you know how painful it is to watch your siblings play feet from you and not be allowed to participate? They ignored me even though I hung my torso out of the window, hoping they would at least speak to me, but they pretended I didn’t exist. I was so alone as a child that I didn’t understand what family meant until you. You’re my family, but I want more. I want everything this life has to offer with you.”
“Then I’ll take you far from here and give you a family,” Kaid promised, sealing his oath with a kiss. “I need time to plan, so be patient while I make the arrangements, but I swear on Varas’ holy flames that when you’re old and grey, you won’t be here in this temple returning to a body you don’t recognize when Hreinasta abandons you for another, but in my arms with our children worshiping the very ground you walk on.”
Nine
You’ve climbed in the dark before,”I tell myself, choosing to ignore the glaring differences between Szent and the Verdens Kant. Even on the darkest nights, Hreinasta’s temple was bathed in light. As the capital of the realm, Szent’s holy fires burned eternally. Torches lit the streets, and the moon illuminated the building I’d memorized every inch of. Night at the end of the world is absolute. This is not the same.
But I tell myself it is.
“Slow down, my child,” The Stranger speaks into my mind. “There’s no need to rush.”
“I don’t know how much longer I can hold on,” I say through gritted teeth. My limbs are ready to give out, and my bloody fingers are raw.
“You’ll hold on as long as needed,” he answers. “I will not watch you fall.”
“Then help me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“You must do this alone. You must have faith.”
“I do have faith.” I spit. “I’ve spent over a cycle trusting your promise. My body aches. I’ve lost so much weight that my bones stick out, and I’m covered in sunburns and scars. I have faith, but I’m exhausted. Why can’t you help me?”
“I wish I could.”
“That’s not an answer!” My anger echoes off the eternal cliffs.
“Yet it’s all I can give. Climb, child. Do not despair, for I am with you.”
“You’re always in my mind.” I take a deep breath and slip my fingers from their crevice, hoping to locate another handhold in the blackness. “I sometimes wonder if my grief invented you.”
“You’ve seen my face.”
“Twice.” I almost laugh with relief when I find a sturdy grip. “That hardly proves my sanity.”
“I am here and real. Your faith tethers me both to you and this world. You’ll see me soon.”
“I would prefer if I could feel your hands again, like at Death’s temple.”
“I would carry you if I could, but for now, you must climb alone. You’re almost to safety. Don’t surrender now.”
I grunt as I pull myself up the rocks. I can’t see the protruding ledge, but a section of the air is darker than the rest, and I hope my aim is true. I speak his name instead of a prayer. I say it a second time, then a third. When my knuckles finally reach the ledge, I’ve repeated it seventy-three times, and I clamber to safety. For long minutes, I sit against the cliff wall in exhausted relief. I didn’t die. I can climb in the dark.
I fish through my pack for a strip of dried meat and the waterskin. I eat every bite but drink sparingly, and then I say his name again as sleep claims me against my will.
* * *
“Sellah?”
His voice is wrong. It’s not deep enough. There’s no thunder to the tone.
“Sellah? My Child!”
I jerk awake, and my scream catches in my throat when nothing but air fills my vision. I’m hanging precariously at the edge of the ledge, and I scramble backward to safety as I realize it wasn’t Kaid’s voice but The Stranger’s.
“Thank you,” I gasp.