Page 29 of The Scattered Bones

“You’re so big.” I tensed as he sank inside me.

“You can take it.” He pushed further. “I know you can, goddess. I want nothing to separate us.”

His words unleashed something within my soul, and I spread my thighs wider to offer him more room.

“Good girl. Relax as you take me.”

I released the tension in my muscles, and with a sharp pain, he thrust in to the hilt. I practically screamed at the contact, but he captured my mouth in a searing kiss, stilling to allow me time to adjust.

“Gods, Sellah. You feel like death and salvation and euphoria all at once.”

“I love you,” I whispered as he moved, and I focused on that truth instead of the discomfort.

“I don’t love you,” he growled as he angled his hips to hit the spot that unleashed the stars. “This isn’t love. Love is too simple a word for what I feel. The world could end. Ages could pass. The gods could die, and I would still adore you. You’ve been braided so deeply into my heart that I no longer exist without you.”

“Kaid,” I cried, and he slowed, afraid he was hurting me, but I wrapped my legs around him so he couldn’t escape. My response encouraged him, and his body slid against mine with such intensity, it became my new obsession.

“You’re mine. Not Hreinasta’s. Mine.” Kaid lifted, pushing his fingers between us to stroke the fire coiling in my center, and the bundle of nerves exploded with delicious beauty. “Scream for me, Sellah. I want to feel you unravel.”

“I…” I moaned.

“Now, goddess,” he growled.

Something about his demand sent an electric current between my thighs, and his skillful fingers pushed me over the edge. I saw stars and blackness and the heavens, and I let my voice pour out of me as I rode wave after wave of euphoria.

“Good girl. Eyes on me,” Kaid commanded, and I obeyed, which only prolonged the delicious ache. “You’re exquisite. You’re the most beautiful thing to grace my life.”

“Please.” I wasn’t sure what I was begging for. For more of him, both the pleasure and the pain? For him to bring me the stars? For him to join me in this floating sensation?

“Gods, Sellah,” he cursed, pulling out of me with an unsteady jerk. Losing him made me whimper, but he gripped my thigh as he knelt, coming undone on the soft skin of my belly. His face was beautiful in his bliss, and I wanted this to happen again and again and again. I understood why he hadn’t spilled inside me, but his enraptured expression made me long to do it again so he could.

“I only say I love you because I don’t know how else to describe this emotion.” He collapsed onto my chest, pressing me into the mattress with his comforting weight. “I want to steal you from here and cherish you every day for the rest of your life.”

“I love you,” I said, hugging him tight to my breast as I kissed him fiercely. My legs found their way around his waist, but the movement made me flinch.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you.” Kaid held me as if he was trying to absorb my body and keep me forever.

“Don’t be. I want to remember that I had you. That our love was real.”

“It is real, Sellah. Not was. Is.”

Tears spilled from my eyes because, despite the sting, I would heal. I would wake up one day and no longer sense him inside me, and then I would forget when my body was claimed. I didn’t want to forget. How would I survive without him? How could I leave him in just a few short weeks?

“I will love you until my death,” Kaid promised. “And then I’ll love you from the grave until I’m dust. When your consciousness returns after she abandons your vessel decades from now, I’ll be here waiting for you.”

“I don’t want this, Kaid.” A new and primal fear grew in my chest. “I don’t want her to take me. I want us.” I gestured between our chests. “Again, and again and again. I want to grow old with you. Not die here alone.” For that’s what I’d be with Hreinasta. Alone for decades, locked inside my own body.

“Then let me take you from here.” Kaid leaned back just enough to look me in the eye and grabbed my thigh, hiking it over his hip so that our bodies remained joined. “I’ve been wanting to ask if you’d run away with me, but I was afraid to voice my desire.”

“Why?”

“Because I know you love me, but I didn’t want to force you to choose between me and the gods. Being bound to Hreinasta wasn’t your decision, but wishing to leave her service and abandoning your faith in her are two vastly different things. I won’t pressure you. I want you more than life itself, but I’m not your family or Hreinasta. If you’re going to be with me, I need you to decide that on your own and be happy with the person you’ll become and the future you’ll live.

“Besides, if we run, our lives will no longer be safe. They’ll hunt us down for our blasphemy. I’ve lived among the poor and the destitute, but you haven’t. Fleeing with me means that for all our days, we’ll need to keep one eye looking backward. We may go hungry. We’ll have to work until we bleed, living in lands harsh enough to hide us from the gods. If I take you from here, our life won’t be soft mattresses, luxurious clothes, and rich foods. It’ll be dirt and toil and fear, but I’ll do it. I would do anything for you, even sacrifice my own life, so if you say yes, I’ll live in the dust beside you.”

“Kaid.” I brushed his black hair back and kissed his lips before drifting to kiss his cheeks, his nose, his forehead. “I was forced into this servitude, told my body, my future, and my love weren't my own. You’re the only thing I’ve ever chosen. To help you, to trust you, to love you. We aren’t two people, but two halves of the same soul. I belong to you, so take me far away so we can build a life and a family.”

“Family?” Kaid pressed his face into my neck as if I’d gifted him the greatest treasure this world had to offer.

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