Page 22 of The Scattered Bones

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The mattress dipped,yanking me from sleep, and I rolled away from the intruder so fast, I almost fell off the bed. Relief flooded my body when I realized who lay next to me, but it was short-lived when I saw his face. Perspiration beaded on his brow, smearing the ashes framing his exhausted eyes. Tension gripped my muscles at his expression, for he’d never touched my bed before. My emotions wanted to revel in this broken barrier, but his rigidity screamed alarm, stealing the joy I felt at waking to find his head on the pillow beside mine. His massive frame consumed the mattress. His anxiety consumed me, silencing my greeting, and all I could do was stare at his profile.

“Did something happen?” His dangerously low voice finally broke the silence, but he refused to meet my gaze.

“What do you mean?” I whispered, my concern making it difficult to speak.

“The temple’s security changed, and I couldn’t sneak in. I tried for two weeks before I found a crack in their defenses, and my success was only because of Varas’ blessing.”

“I don’t—”

“Do they know? Do they suspect anything?” He cut me off.

“I don’t think so.” I longed to wipe the unease from his creased forehead. “All is as it should be, and Varas hides your movements from Hreinasta, doesn’t he?”

“Yes.” He gestured to his stained skin. “But, Sellah, I don’t like this. There’s been a shift in the temple’s atmosphere, and I don’t know how often I’ll be able to slip unseen through the seams. I would never forgive myself if my actions endangered you.”

“They don’t know about you, I swear. Everything is—” My voice died in my throat, strangled by dread.

“What?” He twisted to look me in the eye.

“The claiming.” The words turned to bile on my tongue. “I turn twenty-one this Season of the Harvest.”

Kaid’s body went rigid. “The Harvest is…” He didn’t need to say it. We both knew how rapidly it was approaching.

“As Hreinasta’s soul departs one vessel to enter another, her spirit becomes vulnerable. The transfer takes seconds, but those moments leave her bare and unprotected. The temple is preparing for my claiming.”

Kaid’s breathing faltered, and he turned his stressed gaze back to the ceiling, his hulking frame suddenly small beside me. His despair was palpable, and I could no longer resist his gravity. My fingers reached out of their own accord and trailed over his cheek until they found the scar on his lips. My breath caught at the sensation of the rough imperfection mixing with the softness, and it was both everything I imagined and nothing like I expected.

“Don’t.” Kaid gripped my wrist and pulled my hand from his face, his graveled voice thick and harsh.

“I’m sorry.” My chest deflated at his rejection. “You told me once I could touch it, but I should have asked first.” I tried to pull away, but his grip refused to yield. His fist chained my arm against his chest, his heart beating violently below my palm.

“Not there.” He said, as if the words pained him. “Anywhere but there.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, embarrassed I’d brought his scar shame. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s not that…” He struggled to enunciate clearly, his tone rougher than I’d ever heard, and for a moment, neither of us spoke. Neither of us moved as he restrained my fist tightly against his thundering heart.

“You don’t understand how badly I want to taste you,” he confessed, his face twisted as if he wasn’t speaking but ripping out his heart. “You don’t understand how desperately I crave your lips on mine, your body pressed against me. My control teeters dangerously on the precipice, and the only way I can stop it from plunging over that edge is by keeping my distance. I refuse to take something from you that I can’t return, and while I believe your vows were forced upon you, I won’t be the one to break them. You’re pure with me. Safe with me. Protected with me, but please, don’t push. I won’t be able to resist if you push.” He turned toward the opposite wall as if even seeing me from the corner of his eye was a temptation. “Not there. Not my lips.” His chest heaved as if I’d punched him. “Anywhere but there or I’ll break. I can’t break, but I’m afraid because I’m so close to surrendering.”

“Kaid?”

His fist tightened around my wrist as he struggled. “Please don’t. I can’t love you. Not like this. Not when I’ll lose you.” He shoved my hand off his body, the absence of his touch more painful than his grip, and losing his warmth convinced me to change everything.

“Kaid.” I slipped my palm against his cheek and pulled his face back to me.

“Sellah, stop.” He was begging, shaking.

“I love you,” I said with conviction. Raw and strong and unbreakable. “Loving you isn’t a sin, nor will it make me unworthy. Loving you is the only choice I’ve ever made for myself, so when I say this, understand it’s with my whole heart. I choose you, and I cannot go into my future without knowing what loving you tastes like. You’ve filled my heart so completely, there’s no room for anything else.”

“Sellah…”

“I love you.” I smiled softly, the moonlight dancing on our skin as we lay so close, yet too far apart. My heart threatened to beat out of my chest, but my nerves were nothing compared to my longing. For the first time in twenty cycles, I dictated the path I would travel, and life had never been so beautiful.

“Did you hear me?” I whispered when he lay frozen against my touch. “I love you, Kaid.”

Kaid lunged for me like a warrior on the battlefield, and his hand gripped the back of my neck with inescapable force. For a moment, he surrendered his control to his desire, but then his better judgment took charge. His movements slowed as he pulled me gently against him, and when our chests collided, the breath rushed from my lungs.

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