Page 23 of The Scattered Bones

“Is this too much?” He asked, cupping my face in his powerful hands. His heart beat against my breast, and the headiness of that moment threatened to drown me. It was both too much and not enough, and I experimentally gripped the front of his shirt, feeling the muscles that hid intoxicatingly below the fabric.

“Yes,” I confessed, but when he started to retreat, I leaned in closer, refusing his escape. “Do you love me?”

“You are my goddess.” His low admission rumbled through his ribs, vibrating against my skin. “You are what I pray to, what I worship, what I adore.”

“Then show me,” I challenged, and it was all the permission my thief needed. He closed the divide between us, and his lips were on mine like a man starving, the kiss soft and holy. An unexpected heat curled in my chest, and I gasped, the need in my voice surprising me. Kaid deepened the kiss at the sound, his heart rate thundering dangerously. His touch was reverent, respectful, loving, but I sensed the war waging in his chest. His longing fought to escape, but he didn’t act on his desire, and my love swelled with the knowledge. He promised me I was safe in his presence, and his kiss sealed that oath. He did not push. He did not steal. He did not disrespect. Kaid worshiped me with the innocence of that embrace, and it was the purest form of ecstasy I’d ever experienced. Tears pricked my eyes at the beauty, and I released his shirt to capture him in a hug.

“I’m sorry.” Kaid jerked back as my tears splashed onto his cheek, assuming I’d let go of him to escape and not pull closer. “I didn’t mean—”

“Don’t stop.” My fingers tangled in his black hair, weaving through the soft locks, and I sighed with pleasure. How often had I stared at him, longing to brush the hair from his eyes? The desire filled my dreams, but my imagination paled compared to the reality. “Never stop.”

He granted my wish, tasting me in ways I never dreamed a man could kiss a woman. My chest heaved against his, our breathing becoming one until I didn’t know where I ended and he began. His hand left my face to hug me close. My fingers tightened in his hair, and I knew that was where I belonged. He was my world, and I was his home.

“This is the moment I’ll take with me to my grave,” Kaid spoke against my lips before pulling back. I instantly missed him, but I understood his retreat. Our kiss was magic. It promised I was at home in his arms, but even its innocence was too much for me. My cheeks were flushed, my heartbeat erratic. I couldn’t handle the emotions flooding my spirit, and he sensed my need to process. Most would have been disappointed by such a chaste kiss, but my world exploded the moment our lips touched. My body burned with a fire I didn’t understand, and I wanted more. I wanted everything with Kaid, but the tears wouldn’t stop. The dam inside my soul had broken, and I understood for the first time how beautiful love was. I’d lived so long without it, its sudden presence left me weak.

“Don’t cry.” He brushed the dampness from my cheeks. “You did nothing wrong.”

“That’s not why I’m crying.” I curled against his side, and he instinctively wrapped an arm around me as if we’d always existed like that. “My mother rarely hugged me before she surrendered me to Hreinasta.” Kaid stiffened uncomfortably at my revelation, and I pulled him close, unsure if it was for his comfort or mine. “Once I was accepted as an acolyte, she stopped touching me altogether. I haven’t received affection in so long that I forgot what it feels like. There’s no love in this temple. No warmth or fondness. Not for me at least, so I’m not crying because of guilt. I’m crying because I finally know what it means to be important to someone for more than just my appearance.”

I expected Kaid to respond, but when only his silence answered me, I shifted so I could see his face. He stared at the ceiling, refusing to meet my gaze. I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, but I paused when I saw them. Tears. His eyes brimmed with them, and they smeared his already blurred ashes. I watched him cry in silence, the power of that moment burrowing deep inside me to never leave. Kaid was the first person to shed tears on my behalf, and I gave him the space to suffer through the weight of my confession. I watched every tear land on my pillow, his sadness more precious than the smiles of the faithful worshipers who passed me daily, and when I could no longer bear his pain, I pressed my lips to his damp cheeks. They tasted of salt and sorrow, and as much as I wanted to erase his anguish, his grief proved how deeply he cared. It was humbling, and when he finally captured me in his arms and pulled me against his thundering heart, he kissed my head with heartbreaking tenderness.

“I love you, Sellah,” he whispered into my hair. “You own me. All of me. Forever.”

The Request

SEASON OF GROWTH, CYCLE 78920

Iwas in Kaid’s arms the second his tall frame pulled through my window, and it was liberating to touch him so freely. He captured my waist, hoisting me off the floor as I hugged his neck, and I buried my nose against his throat. I would never tire of his scent. Incense coated my skin from its constant burning in the inner sanctum, but Kaid smelled of freedom. He smelled of the outdoors and sweat and the food he passed in the market, and it was my obsession.

“May I?” he asked as he lowered me to the ground, but he barely spoke the words before my mouth found his, his lips against mine in desperate hunger. His chest was solid beneath my curves, so much stronger than I’d expected, and I couldn’t stop the soft moan that escaped me. I hadn’t seen him in four days, not since our first kiss, and I felt his absence in every cell of my body.

“Sellah,” he whispered into my mouth like a prayer. “You’re so beautiful.” He set me down on the ground and brushed my flushed cheeks with his thumbs. “I know you hate being valued for only your appearance, but I love all of you. You’re still my best friend, but gods, you are perfect.”

“I missed you.” I smiled wide at his praise, noticing the customary ash was missing from his eyes. “What happened?” My fingertips trailed over his temples. I would never tire of the sensation of his skin against mine. I could live forever in his arms and never grow tired of the fire he stoked within me.

“I washed my face.” He gripped my jaw with gentle ownership and leaned forward, kissing me until I saw stars. “I wanted to kiss you and didn’t want my ashes to stain your skin… well, I do.” He pulled back so I could see the tease in his gaze. I’d never seen that expression before, and my cheeks flushed red at its meaning. “I would love to mark you with my ashes, to form a path of my every touch over your body, but I won’t put you in harm’s way.”

“Thank you.” I blushed at the image his words painted, and for a second, I allowed myself to imagine what I would look like bare, wearing only his ash stains.

“Stop,” he groaned, and I jerked free of my imagination. “I can read what you’re thinking, and I’m trying to exhibit control, but if you keep making that face, it will shred quickly.”

“I’m—” I started.

“Don’t you dare apologize. Never be sorry to me,” Kaid interrupted. “We’re just in unchartered waters. I love you, but I won’t take anything you can’t willingly give. Your situation…” His expression darkened. “I won’t compromise you.”

“You aren’t.” I cupped his jaw softly, forcing his gold-flecked eyes to mine. “I choose you, remember? I have no guilt or shame because you can’t compromise what belongs to you.”

“Sellah?” He gripped my hand, lacing his strong and calloused fingers through mine as he pulled me to a seat on the mattress. “You can leave, right? I’ve heard of acolytes dissolving their pledges when they changed their minds. You can renounce your vows and pledge to another god. It’s not against the law.”

There was such hope in his eyes that tears rose to my surface. “No, it’s not against the law,” I whispered, forcing them down. “But the claiming is soon. Hreinasta announced her intentions on me almost eleven cycles ago, and once she claims a vessel, there’s no undoing it. She won’t let me go. I belong to her… my body does, at least.”

“So, if you renounced her tomorrow?”

“She cannot harm my body, but there are other ways to punish a person.”

Kaid flinched. “Have you seen that happen?”

“Once,” I nodded. “When I was fifteen, they caught a priestess alone with a man and made an example of her. She was in her forties, well past the age of a vessel, but even the priestesses must remain pure. Perhaps she was merely comforting the man. Perhaps they were old friends or family members, but all she did was touch his shoulder. The chains they used on her were padded so that they didn’t mark her beauty, but they tortured her mind for a month, and he was flogged for his sins. The priestess returned after her thirty-day penance, but she was never the same. Something had snapped inside her, and she died shortly after.”

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