Page 43 of Sinning for Santa

I pray.

“Lord, I come before you with an open heart and mind, ready to receive your love and grace.”

“Jaxcen!” Devon booms, and I know he must be entering the room.

“Lord, I ask that you cast out all fear from my heart, mind and soul.”

“Fuck.” Devon pants from behind me, and I stiffen even more, but remain with my head low.

“Help me to trust in your perfect love, knowing that you have a plan for my life.”

“Finn, yeah, I found her in the attic,” Devon says from somewhere behind me, obviously on his phone.

“I surrender my fears to you and ask that you replace them with faith and hope.”

“Jaxcen.” Devon speaks again, and this time, I know he’s right behind me, and for some strange reason, my eyes fill with tears that instantly pool over and run down my cheeks.

“Lord, I ask that you be my guide and protector. Give me the courage to face the challenges, and help me to remember that I am never alone, and that your love surrounds me at all times.”

A sob escapes me as the warm touch of Devon’s fingers brush back some of my hair and hook it behind my ear.

“Little mouse, look at me.”

“Lord, thank you for your unconditional love and grace which sustains me each day. Help me to share that love with others and be a light in the world, casting out fear and bringing hope and peace.”

This time, I feel Devon move onto the window box with me, and a squeak escapes me as he lifts me so effortlessly onto his lap, as I finish my prayer.

“In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.” I sign the cross before falling silent.

“Let’s get one thing straight.” Devon’s deep voice rumbles right next to my ear. “If by Lord, you really mean Devon, then okay. But if you really think there’s a magical being that will be your guide and protector, then let me remind you, there is no such thing.” With a firm finger, he coaxes my head around so he can see my face, and the darkness within his eyes should scare me, but for some reason, it feels… safe.

“I will be your guide and protector, Jaxcen. Not some mythical man.”

My lids flutter, pushing more fat tears out, and I swallow thickly before I speak.

“Are you mad?”

For a long moment, he simply stares at me, and I almost think he’s not going to answer, but then he smirks.

“You were up here watching the whole time, weren’t you?”

I nod, and he chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief.

“You watched me lose my cool with my men, accusing them of letting you slip past them, and you didn’t consider that perhaps you should come down and diffuse the situation?”

I shake my head. “I was curious,” I murmur.

“Curious about what?”

“To see how it would play out,” I admit, and he grumbles.

“Jesus, woman, I was ready to shoot some of my best men.”

My eyes widen in shock. “No, you weren’t… were you?”

“He was.” A voice comes from behind us, and Devon’s head darts in that direction before chuckling and shifting us, so I can see the man too.

“Jaxcen, this is Finn. My right hand man.”

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