Page 178 of Sinning for Santa

Jaxcen has nothing to do with our fucked up family, and I don’t like him implying that she’d fit right in.

“Whatever. Until next time, brother.” Warrick slaps my shoulder, and nods at Liam as he approaches the car. “I’ll need the bag. My wife has torture skills I’m man enough to say I know I’ll crack under.”

Liam scoffs at Warrick, but bags his head anyway, shoving him in the front seat and closing him in.

“I’m assuming you know what the fuck you’re doing?” Liam’s brows lift in question, and I scrub my hand through my hair.

“Not at fucking all.”

Liamchuckles. “In that case, I’ll make sure there’s popcorn on the go, since this romantic comedy isn’t over yet.”

“It’s not a fucking romantic comedy,” I snap at my cousin who wags his brows.

“Isn’t it? Seems pretty funny from where I’m standing.”

“Why?” I growl and he shrugs one shoulder.

“Because you think you don’t have feelings for her. It’s fucking obvious to everyone else but you, and man, I hope you come to your senses before it’s too late.”

Liam laughs at my hiss, rounding the car and sliding in before starting up the engine.

I feel fucking sick. Like there’s an organ dying inside me. I just don’t know which one it is, or how to stop it from happening, but I remain rooted on the spot as Liam pulls his car back onto Main Street and drives away with my little mouse inside.

Fuck.

Warrick’s wife’s torture would be less painful than this.

“You okay, man?” Finn’s voice drags my gaze from the fading tail lights as the car disappears around the bend towards the front gates.

“Why does it feel like I’m making a mistake?” I ask quietly, expecting him to say I haven’t. Expecting him to reassure me that this is what’s best.

“Maybe because you are.”

I jerk my glare in his direction, my voice hoarse as I defend my actions.

“She can’t be with me. You know that.”

“All I hear are excuses. You haven’t even tried.” Finn lifts a single brow, and I see fucking red.

My fist collides with his face before I even know what’s happening, and my best mate stumbles back as shocked gasps float over to us from the table in the middle of the street.

“Nice,” Finn snaps, wiping blood from his lip with his finger, before he lunges at me, his fist coming out of nowhere, the smack of his knuckles against my eye socket loud.

“And here I thought when you asked my opinion, you actually wanted the truth. Not for me to appease your precious fucking feelings,” Finn snarls right in my face as I square off to him as he does the same back, almost daring me to take another swing at him.

I don’t. Instead, I take a step back, my breathing ragged as I fight for control.

“You’ll understand if I’m gonna take a few fucking days off,” Finn snaps, before spitting a wad of blood to the road by his feet. “You don’t pay me enough for this bullshit.”

Storming off, Finn leaves me standing there like a fucking fool.

And maybe I am.

Maybe I’m the biggest fucking fool there is.

I’m fucking up everything. I can feel it as much as I know the sun will rise again tomorrow.

But fuck that, and fuck him. I don’t need this bullshit in my life. This is why relationships in organised crime don’t fucking work. Feelings get involved and people start making mistakes.

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