Page 176 of Sinning for Santa

I blink a few times, words not finding their way from my brain to my lips as Devon doesn’t make eye contact with me and passes my bag to Liam, who puts it in the trunk of his car.

“Wha—” I glance from Liam to Devon who finally locks eyes with me, and they are full of regret. “What’s happening?”

He doesn’t say anything for the longest time, but the moment I go to take a step closer to him, he takes a step back and finally speaks.

“It’s time for you to go.”

Chapter thirty-eight

Devon

I’ve never felt like a bigger prick than in this moment. The hurt and betrayal that flashes in Jaxcen’s eyes nearly undoes me. Nearly makes me cave. Give in, and ask her to stay.

But that’s ridiculous. Five days I have known this woman. Five fucking days isn’t enough time for me to be asking her to stay. To ask her not to return to her life and be mine and only mine for what? Forever?

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

No.

She has to leave.

It’s for the best for her and me.

Hell, she has so much life to live now that the blinders have been peeled from her tunnel vision. She’s a sexual being and only just awoken. She needs to explore that. She needs to explore everything on her own, out from under the heavy hand of her parents and their twisted religious beliefs.

“Why?” she whispers, tears welling in her beautiful blue eyes as she wrings her hands together, staring at me.

“It’s for the best. Mr V is dead, little mouse. You’re safe again. You can go back to your life.”

“But… I don't want my old life,” she protests, taking a step closer, and fuck, like a coward, I take another step back.

I have to. If she gets too close, if she touches me, I’ll cave.

“Then change your life.” I urge her. “It’s yours to control now. Not anyone else’s.”

Her pained expression morphs to anger and her shoulders roll back as she speaks.

“Fine, then I’m not leaving. That is my decision.”

Fuck. She’s not going to make this easy.

“Yes, you are, little mouse. Get in the car.”

“No, I’m not.” She stomps her foot, and fuck if that’s not the most adorable thing I’ve seen her do.

I want to smile, but that will just confuse her into thinking I’ll change my mind, so I opt for the truth instead.

“Jaxcen, you’re not safe with me.”

She frowns, confused, her gaze darting back towards the table where the local woman have congregated. “These women are safe with you.”

“That’s different. They are residents. They aren’t…” I trail off, not sure how to put this, mulling over my words before I speak. “They aren’t mine. You saw what happened with Vincent. You were used against me, and if you’re mine he won’t be the last. I have a lot of enemies, Jax. My family may be powerful, but it comes at a price, and you’ll be used as a tool to hit me where it hurts. You can’t stay. You have to leave.”

“Shouldn’t that be my decision? Shouldn’t I be the one who decides if that’s the life I want to lead?” she snaps, and I shake my head, momentarily looking at Liam for help, but the fucker just looks away.

“It doesn’t work like that in my family. There’s no point in going around in circles about this, Jaxcen. You have to leave. That’s all there is to it.”

She stares at me for the longest moment, a fat tear popping from one eye and rolling down her blazing cheek.

---