Page 113 of Sinning for Santa

It reminds me of one I’ve sat at recently.

Devon’s.

Memories come at me then, the dark eyes that terrify most, yet set me on fire. The lips that taste and nibble at me like I’m delectable. Hands that dominate me, yet have the gentlest touch.

I wanna go home.

“There we go, Miss Summers,” the male nurse says before leaning over to get in my line of sight. “You have fun with Dr Xavier, and I’ll be back to get you later.” He bites his lip as two of his fingers press to mine and sink into my mouth. “Hmmm. I have a special treat for you tonight.”

“Thank you, Hamish. I’ll call for you once we are done.”

Dr Xavier’s voice saves me from this perverted nurse, but who’s going to save me from him?

My lazy gaze moves across the two place settings and the bowl of salad in the middle of the table before Dr Xavier’s looming form takes the seat next to mine and I slowly turn my eyes to him.

“You’ve gone and gotten yourself in a spot of trouble, haven’t you, Jaxcen?” he asks, but I don’t respond. “And now we have to fix you. Make you compliant again. Make sure you know your place.”

I’m glaring. Well, I hope I am. I want to, but I can’t feel my face enough to know if it’s working.

“You know, Eddie was prepared to take you the way I left you. He’s been very aware of the treatment we provide. As is your father. How do you think your mother became so compliant?”

I frown. I think.

Did my mum come here?

“Presley’s a different story. She was obedient from the beginning, doing as your parents asked, but you, Jaxcen, have a way of doing the opposite. Look at what happened when you put your nose in where it didn’t belong as a child. You were given clear instructions not to speak of what happened in Sunday school, yet that’s exactly what you did. And you thought you were helping that girl, didn’t you? You thought she wanted it to stop, but she got angry at you, didn’t she.”

I gulp, remembering something I don’t want to.

“And when you took the secrets outside the room, it wasn’t only you that was punished, was it.”

Tears, I feel them burning the back of my eyes, which must mean the medication is starting to wear off.

Dr Xavier must notice too, because he pushes a glass of juice towards me.

“Drink up, Jaxcen.”

My gaze drops to the juice. Orange I think. And everything inside me is screaming not to drink it.

He always asked me to drink the juice at the beginning of our sessions. It took me too long to realise what was happening. I was too young and naive. I thought it was the hypnosis that dragged me into a dark mental cage, trapping me within, but it was the drink. Or at least the drug inside the drink.

I could feel it all. I just couldn’t move. Couldn’t make a noise.

“Drink the juice,” he orders again, but I’m still caught in my memories. Still caught in the nightmare.

It started out simple. Him talking to me softly, making me feel like I was safe, only to stand over me, take his dick out of his pants, and wank it over my head before ejaculating on my face.

After a few sessions of that, the touching began. Over my clothes at first, but then he went under, and I couldn’t talk to say no. I couldn’t move to push him away. All I could do was experience every second while screaming inside my head and pounding my subconscious to wake up.

I tried so hard to be good so he’d send me home, and eventually he did. I got handed back to my dad and my sessions became monthly outpatient sessions.

I’d go every month and for a while he did nothing. It’s like I forgot how much of a monster he was. I figured because I was an outpatient, that sort of treatment was over.

I was wrong.

“Drink it!”he yells this time, becoming impatient, and I manage to shake my head and slur.

“No.”

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