Page 87 of Without You

Thanksgiving,so far, has gone off without a hitch.

After a make out session on Julian’s couch and an impromptu nap, we both sheepishly showed up to my parents’ place a few hours late.

Even though we made the effort to come in separate cars, so as not to appear like we had been together, the timing and the look on our faces probably suggested otherwise.

Thankfully, my family, except Victoria, is fairly good at sweeping things under the carpet, and for once, this works just fine for me.

It’s not that I don’t want to share what’s happening between us with my family; as I explained to Julian, there are so many layers they’ll need to process, and I’m not ready for the questions and queries to ruin how we feelright now.

So, at this moment, I’m literally shooting the shit with my family, counting down the painstakingly long minutes till Julian and I can get the fuck out of here.

It turns out being in the same room as Julian and not being able to touch him is more of a problem than I anticipated. I don’t do public displays of affection, or at least, I have never felt the need to, until now.

And it’s not like Ineedto be kissing him and hugging him, or even holding his hand; it’s the simple knowledge of knowing that if Iwantedto do those things at any given moment, I could.

We share secret looks and touches on the sly all while listening to Victoria juggle talking about her pregnancy and entertaining Lia. Mom and my grandmother fuss over the food in the kitchen, and my grandfather sleeps in the living room with the television on.

It’s a typical Thanksgiving Day, but it’s the most normal get together this family has had in a while. My stomach flutters with excitement that maybe a good type of change is in the cards for all of us.

“Okay,” Victoria says with a raised voice. “I know this is cliché, but I really want to go around the table and say the things we’re grateful for this year.”

Vic is cautious with her request, looking around at the seven sets of eyes staring back at her. “I’ll start,” Hayden says, always being the perfect husband. “I’m thankful for my beautiful wife.”

Victoria blows him a kiss. “I’m thankful for my amazing daughter. That she’s happy and healthy. I’m thankful for the imminent arrival of my son.”

“Hold on,” I interrupt. “Did you find out it was a boy?”

“No,” Vic shouts at a laughing Hayden. “He thinks if he just keeps putting it out there the universe will have no choice but to listen.”

“Well, it can’t hurt to try,” my dad interjects, backing Hayden and his crazy notion up.

“Since you agree with his dumb theory,” Vic says to our father, “you can go next.”

He clears his throat. “I’m thankful that you’re all happy and healthy. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my family smile, and for that I’m thankful.”

“Here. Here,” my grandfather shouts, raising his bottle of beer and taking a sip.

Per my sister’s request, we all take a turn. Julian’s firm hand discreetly slides over my thigh when Victoria points at him like she’s a game show host. “Now, what are you grateful for?”

“I’m thankful to you guys. For always being my family, especially after.” I watch everyone’s face around the table soften at his honesty. “And this year, I’m thankful for the future.”

My fingers intertwine with his, squeezing them, assuring him I heard the words he wasn’t able to say. I read between the lines, and I’m thankful too. I’m thankful that despite the odds being against us and the obstacles we still have to face, he and I somehow made it here.

20

Julian

Deacon and I were less than an hour away from arriving at his place, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say the knots in my stomach were bordering on painful.

The last twenty-four hours were both chaotic and exciting; the high of doing something different fueling me while the fear of not being home in my routine tried to cripple me.

It’s not that I didn’t want to go with Deacon, because I did.

I do.

I want to see this side of him. I want to see the man he hides from his family. I want to see him in all the places he feels most like himself.

After leaving Bill and Elaine’s house last night, both of us were trembling with an immeasurable amount of need. We were thirsty for one another. Greedy for touch, hungry for a taste. The flood gates had opened, and we couldn’t stop the flow of desire between us, no matter how hard we tried.

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