Page 41 of Without You

“No.” He shakes his head. “It’s more like something you’re missing.”

“Why are you talking in riddles? What’s that supposed to mean?”

He doesn’t get a chance to answer, because the whole family chooses that single moment to come outside. When Hayden reaches for Lia, the smug look on his face tells me he has no plans to explain himself whatsoever.

We all mill around the sidewalk, trying to work out what’s next. But if the look on everybody’s face gives any indication, I think the small win we all felt at being able to go out to Rhett’s favorite restaurant has undoubtedly fizzled out.

Victoria stands close beside me, pressing her shoulders into me, and linking her arm through mine. “Stay for a few more days,” she says, without looking directly at me. “Tomorrow we can leave Lia with mom and dad and just catch up. You and me. You, me and Hayden. Or you, Julian and me and Hayden. Just sleep on whatever this is tonight and let’s try again tomorrow.”

Dragging my arm out from between us, I throw it over her shoulder and hug her to me. I kiss the top of her head, knowing I will do whatever she asks.

I meant every word I said to Hayden. I want things to be different, I don’t want to just run when the going gets tough. Losing Rhett was hard, but losing people who are still alive is harder.

“Sounds like a plan, but maybe…” She looks up at me, her lashes wet and long. “Maybe you could stop making Julian and I sound like a couple when you talk?”

“You’re the one touching him and being nice to him,” she murmurs.

She’s right.

I don’t have a comeback or an explanation, so I don’t bite back. The man in question comes into view, both Vic and I watching him as he hugs our family goodbye, promising visits I’m almost certain he doesn’t have any plans to follow through with.

When his eyes catch mine, my spine straightens, and hell if Victoria doesn’t notice. Thankfully, she keeps her mouth closed, but the upturn of her lips says plenty.

He begins to head our way, and I untangle Victoria’s limbs from mine. Meeting him halfway, I stop when I reach him. “I’ll just say bye to everyone and we can get going, okay?”

If it wasn’t for the slight nod of his head, I wouldn’t be sure he’d even heard me. Determined to keep his distance, he continues to walk on by, almost acting like he doesn’t know me.

I try not to take it too personally, knowing he’s feeling a littleraw right now. We’ve all been there. We’re allstillthere.

I hug and kiss my grandparents and tell them I’ll try my best to see them before I leave for Seattle, while I inform my parents I’m dropping Julian off and I’ll meet them at home after.

By the time I reach the truck, Julian has his hands clasped together in front of his mouth, blowing warm air on them.

I quickly remove my key fob from my pocket and unlock the truck.

“Shit. I’m sorry, man,” I say. “I should’ve given you the keys.”

“Not a problem,” he answers.

We both climb into the truck, and I turn it on, and switch the heat on high to try and rid us both of the chill.

“Hey,” I say, noticing Julian’s hunched shoulders. “Are you okay?”

A soft wistful laugh reaches my ears. “I feel like that’s all we’re ever saying to one another.”

“Sometimes it needs to be said.” I think back to all the times I should’ve asked the question. To Rhett. To my family. To Julian. “And sometimes we don’t ask it enough.”

He turns to face me, resting his back against the door, stretching the seatbelt, as if he needs to get a really good look. “Who are you?” he asks.

I quickly glance at him and return my focus to the road. “What do you mean?”

My question goes unanswered as I feel his eyes tracing over the shape of my body. I feel the intensity of his stare. The questions. The wonder. And I’m not sure how to feel about it, but there’s something in his gaze that feels like want.

“Answer me this.”

My ears perk up expectantly for whatever it is he’s about to ask.

“You’ve either changed since Rhett died or was the guy I thought you were not really you at all?”

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