Page 39 of Without You

She hops off her seat and slides closer to me on Julian’s now empty seat. “You and Josie broke up? What the fuck Deacon?”

“It’s been a bad couple of months,” I admit.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t want to talk about my shit,” I explain. “When you and Lia call, it’s the highlight of my day, and I want to keep it that way.”

“Well?” She looks at me pointedly. “What happened?”

“She cheated on me.” Her cheeks flare up in rage, and I put my hand up to stop her. “While I appreciate your loyalty, it wasn’t all her fault.”

“It’s been a rough year,” she says, trying to excuse the demise of my relationship. “And I didn’t really like her anyway.”

I should be more offended at her disdain, but it’s nice not to have her glaring at me. “It would appear mom agrees with you too.”

She turns to look at Mom, who’s wistfully watching us, then looks back at me. “How’s she been with you?”

I shrug nonchalantly. “It’s all good.”

“And Julian?”

“What about him?” I say indifferently.

“Really, Deacon. We’re going to play this game?”

“There’s no game,” I say honestly. “We’re just playing nice.”

“That looked a bit more than just playing nice to me.”

“I don’t have an explanation Vic, and I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“He’s vulnerable, Deac. Tread carefully with him.”

“Carefully?” I scoff. “What the fuck do you think I’m going to do?”

My blood simmers underneath my skin, disappointed that today I managed to avoid my mother’s displeasure, only to have Victoria step right in and take her place. I want to hulk out, stand up and throw fucking furniture all around the place.

I must be living in an alternate universe, the perception of myself apparently all wrong. According to everyone else, I’m a bigger asshole than I thought, clearly unable to be nice to anyone for no good reason other than wanting to.

“Calm down,” she hisses, her eyes darting between me and a very concerned looking audience.

“I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Don’t lie to me,” I spit out. “Everyone is concerned about him, because I’m clearly the monster he needs protecting from.” I draw in a breath before continuing. Trying for a calmer, steadier voice. “He’s Rhett’s best friend. His boyfriend, and obviously everybody else’s preferred family member. For Rhett, I wanted things to be better between us.”

“But honestly, I don’t even know why I bother.” Placing my elbows on the table, I lower my head into my hands and continuously run my fingers through my hair. “I need to get back home, get out of everybody’s way, and just keep to myself, like usual.”

“Don’t say that,” she says, her expression pained. “I said I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Let’s just finish eating,” I say, effectively cutting her off. “And then we can all get going.”

The silence stretches across the whole table, and Julian returns, bravely sitting down in the middle of our war zone.

I tuck into my rice pudding, wishing I could enjoy the taste of the food I’ve missed so much. Wishing the day ended just as good as it had started.

I had high hopes that maybe, after a year of mourning, we could all somehow find a new common ground.

“Unca Deac. Unca Deac.” Lia’s voice breaks through my bleak mood. Raising my eyes to meet hers, I give her a wink when she waves at me from her father’s lap. She lifts her arms up in the air, and there’s no way I can deny her anything, no matter how angry I’m feeling.

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