Page 78 of Higher Demon

I stumbleto a halt and stare at the space Marc was in just a second ago. Dammit.Dammit.

“Ian?” Gabe murmurs, and I turn to see he has stood and is watching me carefully. “Something you want to tell us?”

Involuntarily, my gaze flickers to Con. His expression is unreadable, but he only goes blank like that when he’s processing. “No.”

“Are you sure?” Tom presses carefully. He’s not that much older than me, but from the second we met, he stepped into a big-brother-slash-mentor role. Right now, his brown eyes are worried.

“Really sure.” This isn’t the time for me to fight with Connor. Not when every atom of me is distracted by what might be happening to Marc right now.

“Are you fucking the demon?” Con demands.

So much for the idea of not fighting with him.

“Connor,” Kieran begins, “maybe now isn’t?—”

“Well, Ian? Are you fucking him?”

“Don’t be an asshole, Con,” Gabe says, though there’s a faint look of revulsion on his face. At least he’s trying to be supportive. “Ian’s a grown man. It’s not our business who?—”

“Are you fucking kidding me with that shit?”

“What do you want from me here, Connor?” I snap.

He scoffs. “I want you to deny it!”

“Would you believe me if I did?”

Connor winces and looks away. “I’d want to,” he mumbles finally. “Shit, Ian. What the hell?”

Sighing, I pace over to the window. Of all the reactions he could have had, this is a lot better than I expected. So far he’s not even yelling—not really. And he hasn’t immediately assumed I’m being mind-controlled.

Turning back to face him—all of them—I try to keep my voice calm. “I didn’t plan this. If you’d asked me six months ago, I would have said it could never happen. Neither of us took the decision lightly.” It seems like I spend a lot of time explaining this to other people. “We’ve spent a lot of time together while we got this new education initiative off the ground. He’s strongly dedicated to this truce—it’s unlikely anyone suitable will be found to replace him as ambassador for a few hundred years, so he’s trying really hard to fit in and make friends here.” Although now that I know the leader who sent him here has been scheming behind his back, I have to wonder how much of what he was told is true. “We were attracted to each other, and we talked about it, and it was my idea for us to no-strings fuck.”

All four of them wince. It’s weird.

“Does Matt know?” Tom asks, and I nod.

“Yeah. I didn’t tell him at first, because… why would I? I know people think we share everything, but we do have boundaries. But when the no-strings part turned into strings, I told him. He’d already guessed.”

Connor’s fists are clenching and unclenching. “Don’t get mad,” he starts, “but how sure are you that this was your idea?”

I force myself not to roll my eyes. “Very.”

“Because he could make youthink?—”

“Con. Listen to me. Marc’s insisted every step of the way that I have to be the one to initiate anything new between us. Even the conversation about us having feelings. He’s very aware of the power imbalance and has gone out of his way to give us as level of a playing field as possible.”

“That could be part of his game. It’s another way to mess with your mind—let you think you have the control, when?—”

“If you really believe that, nothing I say will convince you otherwise. Besides, what would be the point? That’s a lot of fucking around for… what?”

“Because he likes screwing with the minds of humans? To fuck with me? How am I supposed to know how a demon thinks!” He throws up his hands, and for the first time in my life, I hate my brother.

“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of your ego. Fuck off, Connor. You’re not that important.”

Con looks like I’ve slapped him, and Gabe hastily steps forward. “Okay, let’s take a minute. This is getting to the point where we’re all saying things we don’t mean. Connor, we all saw the way Marc looked at Ian. I think it’s safe to say there are real feelings here.” His voice gets tight on the last part, but I still give him points for saying it. “Ian,” he turns to me, “this is a lot for us to take in, and I hope you can understand where our concern is coming from.”

I unclench my jaw. “He didn’t say anything I didn’t already think,” I admit reluctantly. “I just wish he’d see that I’m not a kid anymore. And maybe that right now isn’t the time to talk about this.”

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