Page 61 of Zachary

Fabian:

I’M SO SORRY! We’re the worst. I assumed that because Stef doesn’t want to celebrate his and won’t even tell us when it is that you wouldn’t either.

Sophie:

Steffen doesn’t know. Brandt doesn’t either. He was able to estimate approximately when, but not exactly.

I don’t ask how she knows this. Sophie was the one who healed Steffen’s wounds—and did a health check on me. She andBrandt—and Steffen—wanted to know if I knew anything about our mother or the circumstances of our birth. I don’t.Hetold me little, and of what he did say, it’s hard to know how much is true.

Hagen:

Okay, so you don’t have a birthday. Cool cool. Wanna pick one? Or not. Maybe you’re not into the whole birthday thing.

Fuck that. I want a birthday with a huge party and a lot of people telling me how amazing I am just for being born. I wonder if Zac would help me plan one?

The birthday thing sounds perfect. Do Stef and I need to pick a day together? Because I don’t think he’ll be into it.

Dustin:

I’ll pay to watch someone ask him to choose a birthday and let us throw him a party

Sophie:

Hard pass

Fabian:

I’ll do it! But someone has to protect me from him

Hagen:

What if Ronan’s birthday is just Ronan’s? And if Steffen decides he wants one, he can pick it for himself. They’re twins, not clones. Individuality is allowed.

Sophie:

Yes to individuality, but I don’t think you understand how the birthday thing works with twins.

Fabian:

I agree with Hagen. Ronan can pick his own birthday, and Stef can… Maybe we just don’t tell him.

Dustin:

He’s going to find out when we throw Ronan a mega-awesome birthday party.

I’ll talk to Stef about it. But I get to choose my own birthday, and he has to find a way to deal.

I’m proud of myself for typing that. Steffen and I are continuing to improve our relationship. He’s putting in more effort now, and we talk every week. Sometimes Wil is there, too, and I can’t believe I never picked up on their relationship before. I know they’ve gone out of their way to keep it secret, but the clues are all there for anyone who really wants to work it out. I love their dynamic, but it’s also helped me to realize it’s not what I want. A supportive partner who cares about my feelings? Yes, definitely. But I also want public affection. Ilovetouching Zac, holding hands, having him drop a casual kiss on my cheek or hair when we’re out in public. Knowing that someone is so openly willing to show their feelings for me is… empowering. And I get to do the same for him.

So while Steffen and I are twins and building closer ties, we don’t have to be the same. I don’t need him to agree with or approve of everything I do. I know now that he’ll still want to be my brother even if I’m not exactly like him. And that means I canpick a birthday, and he can accept that, just like I’ll accept that he might not want to pick one for himself.

Hagen:

So… when’s your birthday?

I take a moment to think about it.

May 2nd

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