Page 51 of Paranoia

ROB TRILLING WAS trying not to fidget as he and Juliana sat on his living room couch. George Kazanjian had found the couch for him in an empty apartment. It had served him well and was comfortable. But now, with Juliana sitting only a few inches from him, he was aware of the old couch’s many flaws. The brown cloth was threadbare on the armrests. There were more than a few holes, exposing the batting. And if Juliana scooted back to the far end of the couch, she’d realize there was a spring missing.

He tried to focus on his guest. “What would you like to talk about?”

Juliana took a moment. She didn’t seem upset and wasn’t crying. Finally, she said, “I can’t believe you brought a date to our house for dinner.”

“Your father said I could bring someone.”

“My father still thinks Jane and I dream about teen pop stars. I’ll always be his little girl. He doesn’t have a clue about modern relationships.”

Rob wasn’t really sure he had much of a clue himself, especially when Juliana continued.

“You bringing a date over to my family’s apartment really hurt my feelings. And the fact that she’s so pretty and seems so nice, and you seem to be so into her, only made it worse. How long have you been seeing her? Is it serious?”

Rob didn’t know how to respond. “Mariah and I have only gone out a few times.”

Juliana leaned back, then looked down at the coffee table. “Please don’t lie to me. I’m not an idiot. There are two glasses on your coffee table. There’s still ice in both of them.” She looked over her shoulder at the closed bedroom door.

Rob took in a lungful of air, then let out a long sigh. “I swear it’s not what it looks like.”

“It looks like you’re a normal guy dating a pretty girl. I get it. I didn’t mean to surprise you while she was here. I don’t want to make a scene. I’m not here to fight your girlfriend. I just wanted to tell you how I felt. You hurt my feelings.”

He wanted to say there was nobody here. But that wouldn’t be true. Rob already felt terrible to hear he’d hurt Juliana’s feelings. He never wanted to do something like that. She was a great girl.

He made up his mind. He stood up from the couch and padded across the tiny living room to his bedroom door. He waited until Juliana had turned to look at him. He reached over and grasped the door handle but didn’t turn it.

Juliana said, “You don’t have to do this, Rob. I’m not looking for a confrontation.”

Rob turned the knob quickly and opened the door. Three of his Pakistani roommates almost tumbled out onto the living room floor. They had obviously been listening at the door. They all straightened and tried to look nonchalant.

Rob shook his head as he said, “Juliana, these are my roommates.” He stood silently as all five of them shuffled into the living room.

Juliana was stunned silent. Her mouth fell open as she stared, then she finally mumbled, “I don’t understand.”

Sylvia said, “We are maid service?”

Rob had to let out a quick laugh. He wondered if Sylvia could make it as a stand-up comedian. Juliana just turned and continued to stare at Rob, waiting for an explanation.

The women walked over and assumed their usual seats, either around the couch, on the floor, or in the single recliner. Rob cleared his throat, then tried to briefly explain how the five women had all ended up living here with him. He let each of his roommates introduce herself and verify his crazy-sounding story.

“And my dad knows about this?”

“Yes, he does. He and your great-grandfather helped me get some assistance to buy food and get them medical care and legal help.”

“How does Mariah feel about this situation?”

“She has no idea.”

“And this is why you never invited me to your apartment?”

Rob paused. “To be completely honest, I’m not sure I would’ve invited you even if I lived alone. I told you about my concerns. I’d never want to do anything to screw up my relationship with your father. And I’m pretty sure you could do a lot better than me.”

Juliana looked around the room at the five women. Sheseemed to make up her mind. Then she stood up and said, “I doubt I could.” She reached over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “I have to get back to the playhouse. I’m really glad I came by to see you.”

Rob still had a goofy grin on his face for a full minute after Juliana had left the apartment.

Sylvia said, “She nice girl. You should date her.”

“If only it were that simple.”

---