Page 102 of Beach Vibes

“No. There’s nothing wrong with you. We can’t all be Teddy. For the rest of us, love takes time.”

“I guess. I just can’t figure out if the problem is me or if it’s Rick. Sometimes when we’re together, he says things that I don’t understand.”

“Like math equations?”

Despite her worry, she laughed. “No, I mean like, I don’t know. When we were driving up on Friday, we talked about him getting into medical school and how Beth gave him all the money she had to help pay for it. It wasn’t a huge amount in the overall scheme, but it was big for her. She gave up her dream of being a chef for him. He didn’t seem appreciative.”

She shook her head. “And even as I listen to myself talk, I’m thinking I’m not making sense at all.” She looked at Dex. “I’m overreacting, right? No one is perfect. He was always the smartest kid in class. That has to leave a scar.”

Dex shrugged. “I don’t know about that, but the man’s a surgeon. Every day he cuts open someone and fixes them. In the time it takes him to do that, they are completely at his mercy. One wrong move and he could kill them. It’s an awesome responsibility that most of us don’t want to deal with. Even if I could get through medical school, there’s no way I want to do that. Most people don’t.”

“You’re saying what makes him good at his job makes him a crappy human being?”

Dex flashed her a smile. “I wouldn’t go that far, but doing what he does takes a certain kind of character and a lot of training. I’m not sure there’s much left over for what you and I consider normal.”

He had a point, she thought.

“Does he show up when he says?” Dex asked. “Does he text and stay in touch? Do you feel good when you’re around him? Have you ever caught him in a lie?”

Was Rick who he said he was? That was what Dex was getting at. “He’s always come through,” she told him. “I trust him to show up.”

“Then maybe that’s your answer. Trust your gut.”

“My gut liked Paul, and he turned out to be a control freak who hit my kid.”

“Paul was an asshole.”

“Shouldn’t my gut have mentioned that?”

“You’re too hard on yourself,” Dex told her. “On the surface, Rick’s given you no reason not to trust him. Unless your gut tells you otherwise, go with it.” His tone softened. “What if you’re reacting because you’re scared of making another mistake? It’s one thing to be cautious and a whole other to screw up a great relationship for the wrong reason.”

“You mean there’s a right reason to screw up a relationship?” she asked, then sighed. “I get what you’re saying, and I want to believe you. It’s just my entire dating life has been one big mistake. When I was younger, I never wanted to be tied down, so I never really had any serious boyfriends. Now I’m ready to have a real relationship, but I don’t have the experience to make that happen. It’s pathetic.”

“You’re distracting yourself with self-pity.”

“Ouch.”

He shrugged. “I call ’em like I see ’em.”

“Dex, I don’t know who Linnie’s father is. That’s how badly I did. I slept with a bunch of guys during spring break, and one of them got me pregnant. I’ll never know who her father is. At some point I have to tell her that. It’s not something to be proud of.”

She shook her head. “Then I got involved with Paul. I don’t have a good track record. You’re right about Rick. I have no reason not to trust him. But honestly, every now and then, I can’t shake some weird feeling inside. At the same time, I’m pretty sure it’s just me being scared of messing up again. And if that’s true, I’m, as you said, putting a really great relationship with a really great guy at risk, out of fear.”

His gaze was steady. “Maybe it’s time for therapy.” One corner of his mouth twitched. “The intensive, inpatient kind.”

She swatted his arm. “Very funny.”

He stood and leaned over to kiss the top of her head. “Trust yourself, kid. You got this.”

He walked back to the family room. Jana stayed where she was, going over what Dex had said. Maybe she was overthinking the problem. Maybe there wasn’t a problem at all. But as she got up to return to the family room, that damned voice in her head whispered one last question. Would she trust Rick with her daughter? If push came to shove, would she call him to take care of Linnie?

And in that moment she knew, in her heart of hearts, the answer might be no. Honest to God, she had no idea why.

* * *

Rick opened his front door and grinned. “You don’t have to keep feeding me, you know.”

“You say that,” Beth commented, walking in with several bags of takeout. “Yet you never tell me no when I offer to bring dinner.”

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