Page 101 of Beach Vibes

Rick dropped Jana off in the late afternoon. She thankedhim again, then grabbed her bag and walked up toward the house. She was a little tired and slightly unsettled. The former was the result of a strange bed and sharing said bed with Rick. She was used to being by herself, unless Linnie had a bad dream. The latter was less easy to explain.

She liked Rick a lot—he was a sweetie who was obviously totally into her. He’d kept her laughing with his dad jokes throughout the weekend. He’d been attentive, kind and thoughtful the entire time. She should have been floating on air, and she wasn’t. Falling in love with him was the next obvious step, but instead of feeling closer to him, she felt like she needed to pull away, and she had no idea why. She was nearly thirty years old, and she’d never once been in love with a man. She’d assumedthat was because of circumstances, but now she was starting to wonder if there was a bigger problem.

Her.

Was she flawed? Incapable of strong romantic emotions? Those were questions she was going to have to deal with, but maybe not right now, she thought as she stepped inside the house and called out, “I’m home!”

“Mommy, Mommy! You’re back.” Linnie came running and threw her arms around her. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too, peanut. Have you had a good weekend?”

“Uh-huh. Beth’s been here every day, and we made brownies. This morning we went to the park and played. Teddy said he was trying to tire us out, but I feel fine.”

The other kids joined them and led her into the family room. Dex was there, along with Beth and Teddy.

“Welcome back,” her brother said. “Have a good time?”

“I did. Solvang was great. We should rent a house and all go there sometime.” She looked at Beth. “Linnie says you’ve been here the whole time. I never meant for you to feel obligated.”

Beth smiled easily. “I’ve been having a great time myself. I’m catching up on my kid movies. My education has been sadly lacking.”

Jana spent a few minutes talking, then excused herself to go unpack. Beth went with her.

“How was the hotel?” her friend asked. “I saw the pictures you sent, and it looked wonderful.”

“It was perfect. Our room was really private, and there was a fire pit out back. We sat up late Friday night and watched the stars come out.” She laughed. “Real stars that we can’t see around here.”

Beth smiled. “Good. I’m glad you and Rick did well together. That first weekend away can be stressful.”

She was saying all the right things, but there was somethingabout her tone, Jana thought. Or maybe she was imagining things.

“Rick made the whole time easy. He had a plan and a grid with all our reservations.”

Beth winced. “You were on a schedule, weren’t you?”

“A little bit, but I liked having someone else take charge. All I had to do was show up.”

Rick had taken care of her. She’d enjoyed hanging out with him, and the sex had been nice. So why was she questioning her feelings?

Once Jana had unpacked, she checked in with Teddy about his plans for the rest of the day. Not a surprise—he was hoping for a little one-on-one time with Beth. Jana said she would feed the kids and get them ready to start their week, so they were free to leave. Dex offered to hang out for the evening. There was chicken to barbecue, and they had ingredients for salad. She and Atlas made her easy cheddar biscuit recipe, and they sat down to dinner a little before six.

By seven thirty, they were all watching a movie together. Partway through, she excused herself to go check email. But instead of retreating to a quiet part of the house to scroll through her phone, she sat in the quiet, dark kitchen and tried to understand what she was feeling and why.

What was the restlessness about? Rick? Their relationship? Was she just reacting to spending so much time together, or was her subconscious trying to send her a message? Was it everything else in her life—getting ready for finals, waiting to start nursing school?

Dex came in and saw her. He walked over to the table.

“You okay?” he asked. “You’ve had something on your mind since you got home.”

“I’m fine.” She forced a smile. “You were great this weekend. Thanks for that.”

“Don’t distract me with compliments.” He sat across from her. “The boyfriend less perfect than you’d hoped?”

She winced at the question. “Not exactly. It’s more…” She paused. “I’m not in love with Rick.”

Nothing about his expression changed. “Were you supposed to be?”

“I don’t know. We just spent a great weekend together. I should be feeling the feels, right? Planning a future, and I’m not.” She leaned toward him. “I’ve never been in love. Not romantically. Am I broken?”

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