Page 176 of Hayden's Stalker

The Journey

I waketo the sensation of someone stroking my leg softly. I stiffen as I realize where I am and who it is. Sometime a bit after four in the morning, I finally passed out, and I’m exhausted.

The clock tells me it’s after nine when I look at it, and Sarah smiles at me. “Morning, sleepyhead. I was beginning to think I’d have to wake you up so I could say goodbye before I go.”

“Where are you going?”

“I have some errands to run. Nothing you need to worry about,” she says with a laugh. “Daniel will take good care of you while I’m away.”

She falls silent but continues to stroke my leg. My cock is stiff despite my lack of any arousal, and I can’t breathe as her fingers brush the side of it.

“Do you know how badly I want you, baby?” she asks in a voice filled with lust.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

The word plays on repeat in my head. I don’t want this. I can’t. It’s the worst thing in the world to have her touch me at all, let alone the thought of doing anything sexual with her.

“I’m not ready,” I tell her in a cracked voice that reeks of fear.

“I know, and I’m prepared to wait until you are. It’s just hard.” She laughs her sickening, high-pitched laugh and says, “Literally.”

She very deliberately runs the back of her hand along my cock while she strokes my leg, and I want to scream.

“See?” she says quietly as she does it. “It’s not that bad, baby. Imagine what it would be like if I sucked you right now.” She runs her tongue around her lips as she looks at me. “You’d love it. I want to hear you moan my name.”

As she says it, she flips her hand over and reaches for the waistband of the sweatpants. Regardless of what she said about being willing to wait until I was ready, her intention is crystal clear.

My body turns to ice, and I yell, “No.”

Sarah blinks at me. “What do you mean ‘no?’”

“I mean that I’m not ready, Sarah. I told you that.”

She frowns at me and toys with the waistband as she says, “You’re more ready than you think you are since your cock is rock hard.”

It’s not anymore. My morning wood is deflating by the second.

“Just let me pleasure you, baby,” she says with a pout. “You’ll enjoy it, I promise.”

I can see that she’s not going to take my no for an answer. I’m horrified and scared and worried and guilty all at once. I can only think of one thing thatmightstop her.

“If you do this, I will never be able to love you,” I warn her. The nausea rises in me as I continue because I hate what I’m saying. “I want the future you’ve promised for us. I do. You’re so beautiful, and I can see us being together, but that can’t happen if you don’t give me time. This has all been so much, and I know you said exposure therapy works, but I’m overwhelmed, and it’s making me not love you the way I want to. Please just let me loveyou, Sarah. I can only do that if you give me the time to get there without pressuring me or raping me.”

She gasps and then glares at me, “I wouldneverrape somebody.”

I don’t think it’s a good idea to argue with her, so I nod my head and say earnestly, “I know you wouldn’t. That’s why we need to stop now. I’m not ready, and that’s why I said no. If we keep going, it’s something we can’t take back.”

Something about promising her a future breaks me. I can’t handle this because if nobody ever finds me here, it’s the future I will be forced to have. It’s too much to bear, knowing that I’m trapped here with this woman, and I don’t know how I’m meant to cope.

She seems to think about it for a minute or so before she pouts at me. “You’re right, of course.” Her face brightens, and she smiles at me. “I feel like we’ve made a big step forward in our relationship. You’re worth waiting for, Hayden Vega.”

She pulls her hand away from my pants and moves up to give me one of her foul kisses, which I manage to accept without vomiting into her mouth. I feel numb now. Her tongue in my mouth is as slimy as ever, but it’s just a thing. It’s like everything she’s doing is happening to some other Hayden Vega. I feel sorry for that man who is not me.

The numbness is comforting. I welcome it because it makes her kiss less intense. I embrace it as she dresses in front of me, and I don’t bother to look away because she’s just there. A body getting dressed.

She unties me and pulls the sweats off me. I’m naked, and the numbness allows me to simply move robotically as she pulls the jeans and shirt I was wearing at the soundcheck off a chair.

“I’ll get you some fresh clothes while I’m out, baby. Maybe you can have a shower tonight.”

---