Page 1 of Subtracting the Heart

Chapter One

Cade

Kincade Hayes took a deep sniff of the city smells as he walked down North Clark on his way to work. He was staying at Griff’s apartment in Boystown off West Cordelia.

He’d been staying with his friend since Ford proposed to Jax, and Cade left. It seemed to him they were at a good place in their relationship with the future they’d planned together. It was better to leave on his own terms than to be asked to leave.

When he phoned Griff that fateful night, Cade was grateful to find his friend was at home. He knew Griff spent a lot of time at Cleveland’s place, but he also knew Griff held onto the small apartment because, as he’d intimated to Cade one night when they were working together at Fairytails, he wasn’t ready to make a full commitment to the handsome bar manager.

“What’s wrong?” Griff asked when he finally picked up his cell phone. Cade was sitting at an all-night diner nursing a cup of coffee after he’d run away from the hospital. He wanted so much to be happy for Jax and Ford because they were going to get married. He’d always seen it coming. He had no place in the middle of a marriage, so his work was done.

“I was wondering if maybe I could crash on your couch or your floor for a few days. Ford and Jax are engaged,” Cade said, trying to sound upbeat between the sobs. It was pathetic, really.

“Oh, babe, where are you? I’ll pick you up.”

Cade told him, and Griff wasted no time rescuing him. The next day after confirming Ford was at the club and Jax was at the stadium, Cade went to the apartments and gathered his meager belongings. He rented a small U-Haul van and began moving his things, ignoring the restrictions of his lease regarding the fucking elevators. Fuck Darren. He’d never see him again.

He left the table, chairs, queen-sized bed, and black recliner in 2C and left a note on the door of 2D, enclosing his key to their place and thanking them for everything.

He stopped at the rental office and arranged to sublet his apartment, stating there was a death in the family as his reason for leaving the apartment as quickly as possible. He left his cell number in the event there was interest, and he rented a storage unit to store his things until he had a new job and could afford to get his own place again.

Cade hadn’t contacted his mother because she’d had enough on her plate. He’d reasoned that Rina had his cell in the event of an emergency, and he could figure out his problems on his own without the aid of his mother.

Griff and Cade had many discussions about what Griff had perceived to be Cade’s fatal mistake. Griff believed Jax and Ford only got their relationship on track because of Cade’s love for them. Cade, however, knew in his heart it was the right thing for him to do, leaving them to each other.

Jax and Ford had been together for a long time before Cade ever showed up, and they would have a brighter, less complicated future without him around to muddy the waters. Life would proceed as it should for all of them.

Walking down the street to the shelter where he’d taken a job as a day monitor, Cade was feeling the sadness closing in around him again. He felt it every time he went to the shelter because it made his heart hurt to think of all the lost boys with nowhere to go and nobody to care what happened to them.

It was nearly Christmas, which didn’t make his situation any more bearable, but Cade had volunteered to work at the shelter over the holidays so the other people who worked there would be able to spend time with their families since he wouldn’t be spending any time with his.

His mother had left him a message telling him she was going to New Mexico with some of her friends to spend the holidays, so he had no plans. That made him even sadder, but he hoped he could perk up for the sake of the boys at the shelter. They didn’t deserve his sour mood, what with all the problems they’d faced in their short lives.

He walked into the building to see Sam Belew, the overnight monitor, looking relieved to have him there. Hey, Sammy. What’s up?” Cade asked as he took off his messenger bag and settled it behind the counter.

“We got a new kid last night. He was scared to death and refused to sleep in one of the dorms, so I moved him into a single room. I waited to report him to Children’s Protective Services until this morning, Cade. He’s a cute little guy who can’t be more than thirteen. I couldn’t turn him away, but he doesn’t belong here,” Sam explained.

The shelter was an old youth hostel taken over by a company opening youth shelters all over the city, likely funded by a group of well-meaning rich people. The shelters operated as temporary housing for individuals aged sixteen to twenty with one shelter designated for male-identified individuals and the other for female-identified individuals. It was a safe alternative to being on the streets, even if it wasn’t a long-term option.

The people who worked at the shelter assisted the residents in finding jobs and better housing, as opposed to leaving them on the streets to fall prey to unscrupulous people who would take advantage of them or drag them into many of the temptations which usually befell street kids, namely sex work or drugs. Unfortunately, the well-meaning monitors at the shelter where Cade was working weren’t always successful at keeping the young folks from succumbing, but it didn’t keep them from trying.

The shelter had twelve sleeping rooms available, each with two beds so they could host twenty-four kids a night. There were two single rooms for the monitors who worked nights, but Cade knew Sam slept in the living room to better hear if anyone came to the front door in need of assistance.

It wasn’t a state-sponsored group home. It depended on donations trickling down from corporate headquarters, but the funding issue wasn’t Cade’s concern. He was merely a counselor/monitor. Liam, Cade’s lawyer during his mother’s yet-to-be-decided divorce case, told Cade about the opportunity, for which he was grateful.

After a week of dead ends on the job front, Cade called William O’Malley, or Liam, the lawyer who had represented him at the deposition for his mother’s divorce case. He’d been a referral from a friend of Ford’s, but Cade was counting on the attorney-client privilege to be in place when he told Liam where he was staying. They agreed to meet at a nearby coffee shop.

“I told you things wouldn’t work out with… no, no. I’m not gonna bethatguy, okay? What can I do to help, Cade?” Cade felt him appraising his body and it made him uncomfortable, but he was at his wit’s end regarding a paying job.

“I’m staying with a friend right now, but I can tell things between him and his boyfriend are getting more serious, so I need to be gone so they can move in together. I need a cheap place to live before I end up living in my storage locker, and I need a job.

“I don’t have any references, but I’m a hard worker and I have a degree in business. I know my work history looks shady, okay? I mean, I graduated from college in May, and I’ve had more jobs than I’d like to mention since then. I can’t get references from my last two jobs because I need to disappear from their lives, so do you have any ideas? I mean, I’ll washdishes, haul trash, dance. I don’t have that much pride,” he stated, feeling totally defeated and at Liam’s mercy.

“I mean nothing sexual by this,” Liam stated before pulling him into his arms where Cade broke down. They went for a walk as Cade explained to him what had happened, seeing the man fighting within himself to make a move on him. Thankfully, Liam remained a gentleman because Cade wasn’t ready to consider another relationship, and it would be awkward to turn down Liam’s advances. Cade erred on the side of caution and made his feelings known to the lawyer to save any miscommunication or expectations of repayment for a favor.

“Just so you know, I’m not ready to even consider any type of relationship, okay? I’m not ready to move on and I doubt I ever will be, but I could really use a friend,” he whispered to Liam. The man hugged him harder before he pulled away.

Liam inhaled a deep breath before he looked into Cade’s eyes. “Okay, platonic. I’m saying this up front… if you ever change your mind, I’ll be waiting. Now, let’s see what we can do about a job and a place to live that’s better than a storage unit.”

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