Page 26 of Roping Reba

She let out a shaky breath, her eyes searching mine for something, maybe an escape, maybe a reason to stay. And then, finally, she nodded.

I pulled her into my arms, holding her tight. “Good. Because I don’t plan on letting you go. Now get ready for dinner. It will be time to eat soon.”

I walked out of her room and pulled the door closed behind me. My heart was racing in my chest and I was lightheaded. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. The thought of her leaving was like a knife cutting through me. I knew I wanted this, I wanted her, but hell, why did life always need to be so hard? Jax was my entire world and Reba was infiltrating every aspect of it without even realizing it. The idea of her staying was starting to be as scary as the idea of her leaving. What if she was scared off again? Parenting was hard, relationships were even harder. She needed to trust me and I felt like that was still so far off. I needed to be better, to do more somehow to show her I could be there for her no matter what. I’d figure out a way. I had no choice because it was starting to sink in that life without her wouldn’t be any life at all.

CHAPTER 11

Reba

Dinner was quieter than normal. I ignored Johnny the best I could without raising suspicion from Jax. I’d agreed to stay, but the pull to leave was still there and Johnny seemed frustrated with everything that had happened. Luckily, Jax was young enough to ignore the tension between me and his father and focused on the pizza we made and telling me all about his adventures. I listened the best I could considering what happened today kept replaying in my head along with the dread of ever leaving him again. Jax, not Johnny. It would be easy to convince myself to leave Johnny, but every moment I spent with Jax, made it harder and harder to leave. Johnny knew that too and wielded it as the rusty sword it was.

I knew the guest house was empty. The people Mac had staying left days ago. He’d texted me and told me, but I’d ignored the text which was probably why he’d shown up. I couldn’t even pull myself away from their house and stay somewhere else. How the hell was I ever going to leave all together? Earlier, I was convinced that was the only way forward. To run again felt right,but now sitting here with them, I hated the thought of it. Damn, I was such a mess lately.

“Ms. Reba, did you hear me?”

“I’m sorry, bud, can you say that again?”

“After dishes, can we read the rest of my book?”

“Of course, let’s help your papa clean up and then we will finish it up tonight.”

Not even an hour later, I was lying in Jax’s bed with him asleep in the crook of my arm as I read. It was so peaceful and perfect I didn’t even notice Johnny at the door watching us until he spoke.

“He’s out cold, you know.”

“Yeah, but I want to see what happens next.”

Johnny smiled and came into the room, pulling Jax’s little body from me and tucking him in properly before reaching for the book and placing it on the nightstand.

“Come with me, Reba. We need to talk.”

The way he reached a hand out for me, expecting me to follow, caused more conflict inside me. I wanted to go, I wanted to hear him out, but I was so scared of getting hurt.

“It’s okay. Really.”

At his reassurance, I placed my hand in his and he didn’t let go. Instead, he led me down the hallway and to the one door I hadn’t attempted to open. The door to his room. He swung it open and I saw a large wooden poster bed took up most of the room with bedding so dark blue it nearly looked black. In the corner was a desk and in the other two chairs and a sitting table.

“Have a drink with me,” he said, pulling me further into the room and gesturing to one of the chairs.

“What’s wrong with the living room?”

“I don’t want to wake up Jax.”

“He sleeps like a log.”

Johnny smirked. “Okay, maybe I just want a home-court advantage.”

“You have that already. I mean I’m staying at your house.”

“It’s not really my house anymore. It’s ours. You belong here and you know it. The way you move through every space with my son, making it more of a home than it has ever been, makes it almost more yours than mine and you can’t fight me on that. This is the one place I’ve wanted you in since you got here, so tonight this is where we’ll talk.”

As he spoke, he opened a bottle of dark red wine that I hadn’t even noticed when we’d first come in. I didn’t bother arguing with him this time because the truth was, he was right. It wasn’t intentional, but I had made this my home. It wasn’t hard, everything here just felt right.

I took a sip of the wine he handed me. “So, what do you want to talk about?”

“I messed things up again today. I don’t know what it is about you, Reba, but I’m always stepping in horseshit. I can’t seem to get it right and I really can’t afford to fuck this up. I don’t want you to leave and I don’t think you want to either.”

“I do. I can’t stay here forever.”

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